Typo in efffing name ugh sorry! CBA to namechange.
Backstory:
Me and DP are young. Getting married in August. Have Ds under 2. Only been together 2 1/2 years.
I have clinical depression and can be no fun to live with at times and have had issues with a v close family member who has had to live with us for a while but moved, things were very stressed, something stressy is always happening in my family unfortunately.
There where times when I very specifically needed my partner that he wasn't there and let me down, he could have been but wasn't so that was a real kicker. If anyone else had of been in those very specific situations their partner would have been there.
Has lied to me about being fine when really had some form of post natal depression for fathers. I knew it. He broke down at work and was off for 2 weeks and saw my councillor in that time (very lovely lady.)
Now:
He has been 'off' for about 3-6months. Less attentive, less affection, hand holding, kissing bye, hugs, other things have dwindled but still happen iykwim.
Less social with friends. They all tell me they can;t be bothered with him as he refuses to go out has no interest in social life or anything. Wants to stay in. Works on his day off doing painting etc with his father who does building work. Usually has 1day a week where we can have family time but is distant then and talking to him is like drawing blood from a stone.
Family and friends all say the same and have noticed this 'offness.'
His job is hospitality so late hours, works holidays, wk ends and split shifts but seems to be getting back later and later on week nights say 11ish when usually back at 9 or 10.
Lets boss walk all over him at work and is actually paid under minimum wage, the place is going under but no one knows yet- I shouldn't even know,- he has no contact been there since very young working way up I guess. That's all I can say on that on public forum.
Has physically hurt me in an argument once. TMI ALERT When we were dtd well about do I was pretty tight and dry and said not to put it in straight away do something else first or it will hurt, he shoved it right in, was sore for days. Said he didn't hear me say no and couldn't feel because of condom. (Claims condoms loose feeling for him since forever.) Was genuinely upset I don't think he was listening and was thinking with his cock, he did stop and pull out but I said he could go in again as may as well know, he doesn't listen at all to anything, claims he doesn't remember being told something when he wasn't actually listening. blah blah blah.
He is just very grumpy and snappy at everything, i would honestly say he is depressed- denies behaviour change and says he is fine and happy and can't see it. He isn't everyone notices. He knows this.
So all this I get paranoid, he had been on phone on internet for weeks, glued, I look on history... Bebo I mean who actually uses that now, was looking at random girls pictures and was on his exes profile at first said it opened itself and typed itself in. Fucking twat.
Denied it and refused to talk about it, went out came back with my expensive flowers and breakfast. Guilty conscience.
I think he was just being nosey but doing it somewhere he wouldn't get found- that's all I was expecting, it's okay to have a nosey, I'm bloody nosey!
Now says he has no clue, genuine etc I either need to believe him as it's very heartfelt, or get proof of something, but I don't have time to wait. And I kinda believe him but logically how did it get there?
I don't have family or support network. (Because they are all twats and good ones are far away.)
And just before we met when bebo was knida still in use he message girls to go on msn and pictures etc and dirty talk and ask for sex and was on a singles site on Bebo. He was very desperate and lost his virginity not long before me, severe peer pressure and only has slept with one person. But she was under fucking age. He was not much older she had slept with plenty of people before him, it was consentual and only a ONS sorta thing. I find this out after falling pregnant with our son. I would never have ever gone out with him knowing that.
Also he never tells me things any more e.g he is working with his Dad Monday, his mum tells me first after everyone knowing first.
I had it out with him and now he is more attentive etc for now.
what do you all think? (Anyfucker your bluntness is alway sspot on.)
So tell me to get a grip. I have nc btw I'm not a troll, can't give much more info as will out myself. His mum is on this.
thank you and sorry