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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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My daughter is refusing to have any contact with her father.

31 replies

spottyfavourite20 · 08/06/2013 12:12

My 10 year old daughter is refusing to have any contact with her father because she is afraid of him. She has for the last couple of years spent a lot of time with him and there is a Court Order in place stating that there is shared care but she is adamant that she will not go and see him and is extremely distressed by the situation. She has had some contact with him over the telephone but now says that she doesn't want to talk to him on the phone either and is again becoming very upset about it and worried every time the phone rings. I am desperate to help her and protect her welfare at the same time as trying to reason with why she feels the way she does. My ex does have anger issues and I believe that this is the underlying reason for her not wanting to go. My son still goes to his fathers house as normal but my daughter gets very upset that he goes. My ex is now threatening me with legal action over my daughter not going to see him and refuses to see that there is an issue between the two of them, instead he is blaming me for the situation. Any advice on this would be very much appreciated.

OP posts:
Leavenheath · 09/06/2013 16:09

That's really great advice c'estlavie.

spottyfavourite20 · 10/06/2013 13:52

I've booked an appointment with my GP to have a chat about family therapy and also mentioned it to my solicitor to see what he thinks. I'm really interested to hear how the Court Order is about the rights of the child as opposed to the rights of the adult as that is certainly not the way that her father appears to see it. I'm just hoping that my DD will be listened to by the Cafcass officer because of her age. She is a very articulate person for her age and is very clear in her mind about how she feels.

OP posts:
spottyfavourite20 · 13/06/2013 20:07

GP couldn't help with family therapy. Sleep doesn't happen anymore in our house and when she does sleep my DD is having nightmares. I can't believe he us putting her through this Hmm

OP posts:
Noraskingforhelp · 31/01/2019 01:47

Please I need your advice. My 5 years daughter she is refusing to go with her Dad. She will scream and ask me please Mummy don't leave me .She said I don't miss him! I don't want to go with him! Recently because off the court order I have to force her but even he couldn't take her as she was holding on me and crying..he said in front of her that he will call the police if I don't get her ready in one hour!@@ she is soo distressed till she don't want to go to the school as it's the handover point ....I don't want her to feel that me also I am not respecting her whishes.....if I said you are you going to see your Dad ....She will start crying.....I am disperate for advice as he is treating me of breaching the court order...

Thamesis · 31/01/2019 13:52

Norasking...think u should start your own thread as this one is very old. Hope you get some good adviceFlowers

JoanneMumsnet · 31/01/2019 13:59

This thread's five years old and as it's a fairly sensitive one we're going to close it now so it doesn't keep getting bumped into Active Conversations - we're not sure the OP would want it reanimated after all these years.

Noraskingforhelp - do please feel free to start your own thread as we're sure there are lots of Mumsnetters who'll be able to give you advice and support. There's info on how to start a thread on our Frequently Asked Questions page.

Flowers
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