supportive dad

[scattercushion]

I'm 36 weeks pg and my dad is very keen to come to stay (at a b&b) for a week after my due date so he's on hand for the birth (not in the room, no way! but in the hospital). Does this seem like a crazy idea to anyone else? There's no knowing whether I'll go into labour then, actually it's more likely I'll go overdue and I'll have had a week of him waiting and hoping expectantly (excuse the pun).
He says it's because he wants to avoid having to dash down the motorway in the middle of the night, and wants to be around to support me, but I don't find his presence exactly 'restful', iykwim. Should I delay him?
Oh and btw, my mum's not around, so I think he feels he has to do his bit as both mum and dad - that's sweet, but as I'm 37 I'm not exactly a 'poor motherless girl' as he described me to my sister!

Tell him you love him and appreciate his offer, and tell him you are worried he will have a fruitless wait if you go overdue, so you'd rather he came after you had had the baby. Reiterate how much you love and appreciate his support. He sounds so sweet to be so concerned for you.

My dad was in the hospital when i had dd1 (not in the room) it was great and i could'nt wait to show him his granddaughter.

Its hard to say when he should come, my first was a week early.
How long would it take him to drive over? You could be in labour for a long time which would give him plenty of time to get to you.

I would get him to wait in his own home until he gets a phone call to say the baby has been born - if it's your first baby you'll probably be in hospital overnight anyway so he will have a day or so to make his way down. Many hospitals are very strict about visitors now so he probably wouldn't be able to see you until the set visiting time if he was already on the scene. Ime he would be most useful if he waited to visit after your dh/dp has gone back to work - that's when you can really do with help, even if it's only to watch the baby while you shower and get dressed..

Thanks for your thoughts. he is very sweet but also very awkward socially! I think he feels he needs to do 'what's best'. Maybe I'll tell him what's best for me is to see him after the birth... Ooh it's difficult though because my sister had pre-eclampsia and was v ill and almost died and he was there by her side... And I know he's worrying about that for me. But it's crazy to do something just because he wants me do to it, especially at such a personal time as giving birth!

my parents are 2 hours away and when i sent dp out while i was in labour to let them know dd was on her way they hopped straight in the car to come down! they arrived about half an hour after dd was born and got to witness her first feed. didn't think in advance i'd have wanted that but it was actually really special that they got to see her so new and precious. my mom even went back to my flat after and did a tidy up as she knew dp would be too useless to bother and i'd be too tired when i got home the next day.

i'm only saying this to let you know that it's hard to anticipate how you'll be feeling at the time, it's not like he's going to be in your house or in the delivery room and you might find you really appreciate having family there when the time comes.

I think it's lovely that he wants to take part. Can really understand that he might be a bit of a burden though... I would let him come to stay but use him to get things done eg. getting shopping, doing odd things round the house etc. He'll feel that he's needed and you'll get some help. I'm sure he understands that you can't predict when things will happen. You might be pleasantly surprised having his support. He was there for your sister...

I am envious - my dad died about 6 years ago and really wish he were here to see my dd. We were very close

is there anywhere close he could rent. My parent bless them rented a cottage close to me for both births of m children. This meant that they were close by but without feeling in the way

How cite..but I can see how you feel about it. I wouldn't want my dad around for the birth although both parents were on hand the day after I came home to help while dh was working (he had to work a few days till his contract finished a work). I found it a help BUT I was also glad when dh came home at night and they left for the day . My mum (bless) even insited in helping me to bf dd ..!!!!!!!

It may be worth just voicing your concerns and the fact that you don't want to offend him etc. Just make him aware that you don't want any added stress but would like his help when required.....Its a good idea that he's staying locally though and not at yours..! good luck.

sorry meant " how cute"..