Winding down a friendship

[Earlybird]

I am friendly with a couple who have 2 dd (their oldest is my dd's best friend at school). We've spent a lot of time together over the past few years - days out, parties, dinners out, etc. But I have been thinking for the past few months that I'm not sure I enjoy the friendship any more.

I'd like some objective views on the following recent text exchange:

Me: Would you and the family like to come swimming on Tuesday afternoon and maybe have dinner after (we are not in the UK, and I am a member of a health club with a pool). It's lovely weather, and would be good to see you all.

Them: Tuesday won't work, but maybe Thursday or Friday. Let us check our schedule and get back to you.

Me: Ok, sounds good. Let me know when you've figured it out.

......three days pass with no communication..........

Them (on Wednesday evening): Tomorrow looks a brilliant day for the pool. Wife has an evening work commitment, and husband might go out with a friend to see a band. Would you like to have X for the night (this is dd's best friend)?

Me: Sure, that can work. We can be at the pool by 5.00, so meet us there anytime after that. DD has plans for Friday, so while a sleepover is good, you'll need to pick X up in the morning.

Them: Um, have you seen the weather for tomorrow? Not sure the pool will be a good option. We will collect X by 8.30 Friday morning.

Thoughts?

Would you say anything, or just let things drift apart?

This 'friendship' is over, isn't it?

Sorry - alpinemeadow.

I hope you aren't going over for a drink. Say thank you but you have plans for this evening (even if those plans are just staying at home and watching the paint dry). I don't know whether they are treating you badly or thoughtlessly, but either way they sound like hard work for little reward.

nope, didn't go / not going.

And just in case I wasn't clear: the phone call and texts were inviting us over with about 90 minutes advance notice on a Saturday night. So essentially, we would have had to get in the car almost immediately.

I'm generally up for a casual 'pop 'round', but since we live some distance apart, things need to be arranged a bit more in advance. They did say in the text that they had a few people there - so clearly it came together very last minute, or we were an after thought (a bit of both, I'd wager).

Did you have the thread where the dad plans his daughter's activities?

Either way, these parents sound absolutely vile and I'd steer clear of them. They are out and out users.

Just don't bother with them any more. If they ask "would you like to have x over" say you'll check your diary and get back to them (and then "forget").

At least you know (from the text you got in error) that they are doing this to other people too.

I think if you enjoy their company and still want to see them, you could just pull back a bit. I think friendships do ebb and flow a bit; sometimes you are in each others pockets but then need to take a bit of a breather.

Just cool it for a bit. Don' t have their DD over unless it's at your and your DD's request. See how you feel in due course, and build the relationship back up if you'd like to.

I just don"t think you actually have to make 'the decision' not to be friends with them anymore. Just step back and see how you feel.

Would you still want to be friends, if the relationship was as it has been in the past? Or do you truly feel it has run it's course?