Namechanged because I don't want too much attached to my regular name or being outed....
Its based around my mother.
Long history but to give a small bit of back ground - DH and mum don't get on. Dh and I have been together 9 years and have one ds (5) . We have a good relationship. Dh and mum never see each other - he is never mentioned. She has tried to split us up in the past a few times including phoning the police and making up things to get arrested. (Pre-ds. He was arrested and everything was dropped due to nothing matching up....surprise surprise!)
Myself and my mum are not close - I can't really remember ever being but it all went to pot when I hit my mid teens, and then again when I got with dh....
A few months ago I heard that things were being said - that I was un-happy with dh and that I wanted out. All un-true and it all came from dm. I found out because my inlaws asked dh if we were ok. There was details in there that could only have come from dm!
It all came to a head when she phoned me one night and asked if she had done something wrong....I pulled her up on it. She denied it, cried off and put my arse of a sd on the phone who pushed and pushed until the situation was sky high.
I later arranged to phone my mum the day after (thinking all would have died down a tad by then) to talk.
Roll on the next day - I'm waiting for a phonecall from dm and I get one fro sd - saying have I changed my mind about anything - err no, because I haven't spoken to dm so how can I???!!! Then I get ' We don't ever want to see or hear from you again...blah blah blah.' Now for something that I may get flamed for....that suited me fine! I am quite happy not having them in my life. I felt better for it - like a huge weight had lifed off my shoulders.
Anyway...thats how it started - all was quiet for until a month ago....I get a phonecall from dm (the first contact since she cried off) asking to talk about it - by the end of a 15min conversation I was in tears, she had laid on the guilt thick and fast about the rest of my family being 'devastated' and quite frankly I have had enough. Why the hell would I ever want a relationship with someone who makes me feel like that? :(
I am completely over why all this started, what is pissing me off is that she cannot let it go and accept that it needs to be left!
Roll on today - I get another phonecall of dm this morning - 'You will come and talk to me about this' was her first words . Again - guilt was laid on, its my fault that some family are upset, its my fault that they are ill, its my fault that this can't be sorted, if I don't go and talk to her she will come to my house , or send a family member ...... apparently I am selfish and not a nice person - this all escalated into a shouting match (which is hugely out of character for me) . I hang up - she phones again - much of the same. I end up hanging up in tears....again. I have had texts since from sd saying I have to speak to my mum or he will get someone else to ask me..
I have had enough - is this wrong of me??
I don't give a flying fuck about why this all started anymore - its the way its being handled now that its making me angry and upset. In fact it all started when my dm put sd on the phone that night without having the decency to talk to me herself . I really do just want them to leave me alone - I would be more than relieved if I never saw or spoke to them again - I have said this. Maybe I am a bad person for it but I can't take much more!
I am sat here dreading someone coming over and then having to row again, dreading even more of its the family member threatened by my dm, that would seriously be a huge guilt trip and hard!!!. I bloody hate it -I hate upsetting people but I really am in the mind frame that me, ds, and dh have to come first now! Things are tough for other reasons too and I am already under a massive amount of stress before any of this on top.
I think I'm venting.....I have chewed of so many people ears in the last few months I feel bad for laying on more ...
Am I wrong for just wanting to get on with things?
Everytime I think things are ok - I get a dreaded phonecall :(