Advice needed for when an elderly parent moves to be close to you

[Legacy]

My Dad was widowed just over a year ago. He lives quite a long way from our family, and there is no family close to him there either.
Over the last year we've discussed and agreed that it would be best to move to the town where we live and get a retirement flat.

He's now sold his house, so it's all about to happen, and he'll probably be here by the end of summer.
I know in my heart it's the right thing for him to do. I am the one who will end up looking after him later in life. I have a brother who is a waste of space as far as Dad is concerned.

Now that it's getting closer I'm beginning to panic a bit about the impact with might have on out family. We have two small children and we both work full time.Obviously I want to help my Dad settle in as quickly as possible, but I don't want him to get into a habit of relying on me for everything.

Just wondered if anyone has been in a similar situation and has any advice - things to do/ not do. Habits not to get into (e.g. set days to see him or not etc?).

Not direct experience but know of others. I would say set days for meeting/visiting etc is a good idea because that might encourage him to find other things to do on the days when he doesn't see you. Check out activities for him - ion the library or local community centre or whatever and give him ideas. Could you ask him to pick up your children from nursery or whatever on one day? (don't know how active he is - but might help him feel involved)

Yes, we're in a similar position wrt MIL. If your dad moves into a retirement scheme with a manager or warden, he SHOULD have a social life and some support laid on for him. Look for schemes that have communal activities for residents - some have outings as well. The warden is there to look out for residents. You could (gently) suggest to your dad that he still will want to have a life of his own/independence. My own dad is a member of a church which provides him with a social life and lots of support; I sometimes think that's when churches really come into their own.

To me, elderly people on their own do need to look for ways not to be lonely - without just depending on their children. There are LOADS of clubs out there, plus lots of voluntary/community service opportunities.