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Relationships

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Teenage Friendships

4 replies

Lyndzlight · 06/06/2013 05:54

My 14 year old daughter has recently left the boarding school she has attended since she was 6 as it was closing down. We moved her to another boarding school where 2 of her friends were going. Since starting at the beginning of this term, these two girls have dropped her, settled in, and began to make her life a misery 'turning people against her' as she says. She has always loved boarding, but is struggling to settle and I am now suffering from dreadful tearful phone calls numerous times a day. The established girls are therefore understandably hesitant about making friends which is compounding the problem. My daughter has been described as 'quirky'. She is not interested in boys, very clever and would rather watch QI than Britains Got Talent. It breaks my heart to see her like this, she was always such a popular girls at her old school, tipped to be head girl. Does any one have any ideas or tips as to how I can help her. She is coming home this weekend so we can look at another school, but I don't think that is the answer. The pastoral care at her new school is excellent, but she is so angry and resistant to help.

OP posts:
janajos · 06/06/2013 06:42

having had a very similar situation with my middle son, I would say move schools immediately. He is so much happier and back to his old sporty, fun self. The only problem I can see is that you will have to give notice to the school where she is at the moment, or you will be liable for next terms fees. Usually that should have been done by half-term; would it be a problem to pay two sets of fees? Does she have to board?

janajos · 06/06/2013 06:42

two sets of fees for one term I mean!

bigTillyMint · 06/06/2013 06:47

Maybe boarding school isn't what she needs right now?

14 is a tricky age where girls in particular form cliques around similar interestes, ways of dressing, etc. If your DD is "quirky" she may find it harder to fit into one of these cliques.

Maybe she would prefer to be herself at home in the evenings/at weekends rather than try to fit in or be ostracised?

OTOH, maybe there is another boarding school that someone in the know could recommend which would suit her better?

MumnGran · 06/06/2013 06:53

Always so heartbreaking to know they are upset in this way.

I would look for a school close by, with no refugees from her previous school, so she can have a completely fresh start. Day girl option may be the best bet for the first term, with an option to weekly board as soon as she is settled in the environment.

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