am I being paranoid?

[alsteff]

Saw an old (male) friend today and we couldn't work out why we weren't on touch via facebook any more, as we were a few months ago. Anyway, after a bit of legwork & confusion I eventually found him in my blocked list along with another 10 or so (only male) friends, including an ex bf from over 30yrs ago. Now I never knew about blocking people on fb and there is no reason for me to have done it. The obvious conclusion seems to be that my partner has blocked them and the only connection between all these people is that they are male.
I'm feeling a bit shocked right now, and manipulated. Can anyone offer another innocent explanation?
By the way, he did have jealousy issues with the ex bf after we bumped into him last summer.

No, I can't think of any innocent explanation. Does your P know your FB password, or do you leave it logged in?

Well someone has obviously been faffing about with your blocked list and if it wasn't you - who else could it have been? Facebook doesn't block random people by itself.

OMG I would be fucking livid if someone did this to me! There's no way it wasn't him, too much of a coincidence if they're all male friends that he might be jealous of.

It's massively controlling and a huge red flag. Unblock them all, change your password and then tell him what you found and ask him to explain himself. And then fuck him off.

I have left myself logged in (nothing to hide!) and I guess you are right there isn't really an innocent or random explanation, just don't want to believe it I guess, but on reflection it does fit in with other behaviour.

And me. Livid that is. Is he a controlling arse in other ways?

Change all your passwords. I am not fussed if my BF knows mine or not but yours has crossed the line and lost knowing privileges.

Or unblock them, don't say anything and see what happens.

Or ask him if he did it and let rip at how dare he if he says yes.

This goes beyond jealousy issues and into controlling.

No innocent explanation possible. Just disgustingly controlling behaviour by your partner.

Reddest of flags

You're not being paranoid. Your DP is though!

All very passive control but still there in the background. If I confront him he'll just say he doesn't know what I'm talking about etc... I think blocking him is a good idea, and then sit back,
wait and see.....

What other behaviour does it fit in with? This on its own would make me want to leave the relationship.

Change your password, invite who you want, block him. As long you are not engaging in any inappropriate behaviour on FB that should be the end of it.

He doesn't exactly encourage me to see my friends, there are always obstacles, and he doesn't understand why I would want to see some friends on my own. When we are out, he never leaves my side or lets me go off 'alone' with other mates etc.... Hell, writing this, actually spelling it out, is making me realise how messed up it is!! Definitely feels like it's time to get out of the relationship, not that I think it will be an easy exit! I should add he has no reason to be jealous.

No. Big red flags.

Do you have kids with him.?

No, we've been together 3 yrs. I was divorced from 'daddy' about 5yrs ago. Ending relationships is never easy but I will not be staying in this one. Just need to digest it all really. Bit of a moment of revelation!!

I am so glad you had it. So many don't spot it till it is very much too late. (((Hugs)))

Thanks for all your posts, really helpful - I guess I was kidding myself there could have been an obvious innocent explanation! Right gotta do bedtime, life goes on!!

Yes, definitely time to get out from what you've posted!

I like the idea of unblocking your friends and seeing if he will dare say anything, or if he will re-block them.

Not sounding good, though.

Definitely feels like it's time to get out of the relationship, not that I think it will be an easy exit!

Why not, op?

Not an easy exit because I don't think he will leave easily, (I don't mean physically as we don't live together, thankfully!) more it will be difficult to extract myself. Probably a long and drawn out process, not "okay I accept your decision etc etc..." but I can deal with it!