Separated Gay Man but Not Divorced

[gayman31]

Can someone who maybe have had similar experience explain to me why a gay man would stay separated from of his wife but not get divorced? They have been separated for 14 years and only see each other maybe once a year. Does anyone else think its odd not to get divorced? A guy that has shown an interest in me which I like a lot but I am not sure if this is going to go anywhere. This is to do with my other thread 'Gay Relationships'.

Sounds as though he likes the legal status of being married, and there may be financial reasons, such as jointly owned assets or the fact he wants his wife to benefit from his pension if he dies.

Have you asked him?

@ Dahlen I have but all I get is it was an amicable split and they didn't want to go through the courts. He did have a male partner for a 2 year relationship. I think the house is both their names however she has her own place and lives 50 miles away. He is a lot older than me 49 im 31 and maybe I should meet someone more my age who had similar life experience.

What does it really matter if he is still legally married? He probably has no faith in the institution of marriage and has no intention to go down that road again, so sees no reason to finalise a divorce.

I think it matters a lot if the relationship is to become serious. If you want a civil partnership or want any legal protection whatsoever, you won't be able to while he's married to someone else.

For example, what happens if you buy a house together and then he dies? His wife would be entitled to his half of it rather than you. What if you grow old together and then she gets his pension? What if there's an accident and he hasn't named you as next of kin so all decisions regarding his care are made by her?

Early day I know and too soon to be considering moving in or getting CPd, but if he's still married when those topics come up, you'll be a lot more emotionally invested and less able to think objectively about securing your own future.

I just find it odd that's all. Never come across a situation like it before.

I would NEVER dream of living with someone unless we were to legalise the relationship. People can just walk away quite easy compared to when its legal. Maybe its my upbringing but i think if you live together you should have some form of legal protection.