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Original poster

Help! I am bad at sex!

14 replies

LanternGirl · 05/06/2013 09:10

I don't know if this is the right place to post this, or if such discussions are allowed on MN but am going to give it a go! And am a bit embarrassed so don't laugh.

DH and I have been married nearly 8 years. He is my first and only long term sexual relationship. He has always taken the lead in bed and he is good. Need I say more. Until recently we have both been reasonably satisified with this but I know that he would like me to do more and I want to, I really do. He literally makes me scream (in a good way) and I have no idea how to reciprocate. Presented with his body I am at a loss. What do men like? I have asked and he tells me to use my imagination, which is no help, or that he wants to watch me masturbate, which I find a TOTAL turn off. Just can't do this one.

He is always kind and loving. He does not put me down, but I feel like a disappointment and am self-conscious. I have never been confident about my body. In other areas our relationship is well balanced but with sex it definitely isn't. So any tips that don't require bags of self-confidence would be greatly appreciated. Thank you ladies.

OP posts:
Wishiwasanheiress · 05/06/2013 09:16

Well he plainly loves you lots and thinks your fab not crap! He wouldn't be with you if he thought that would he? He loves your body, and plainly loves making you scream!

I'd suggest stop thinking you have to make him scream too. You just need to touch him. Avoid his genitals and start with neck, arms, body, legs, face. The rest will just follow.

ofmiceandmen · 05/06/2013 09:34

Contrary to popular belief the biggest turn on for men is not the actual act but the 'effort your partner makes' within the act thats the biggest turn on.

Its not the saucy knickers, its the idea that your DP has gone through the effort to buy/wear and prepare to please you. (speaking as a man)

Have fun, enjoy it, he wants to please you and that no doubt also means it pleases him.
Have said this before - men thrive off knowing they are your hero (no worshipping involved though, thats a turn off).

PS - Do not try to always 'up the ante' thats a slippery slope to porn websites and lose of emotional communication. he doesn't want just another piece of meat (sorry blunt). he wants YOU. so for that brief moment give him you, playful, vixen, whatever you is.

LadyMaiBlossom · 05/06/2013 09:38

What I like to do:
Little kisses on his neck down to tummy then on his thight slow and soft leading to
Cock being kissed, licked and then sucked - up and down motions with my hand at the base and in time to my mouth and twerl toung around the head.

Disclaimer im a girl so dont know if this is good for all men!

DoingItForMyself · 05/06/2013 09:41

Sounds like he gets a lot of pleasure from making you happy if he is getting you to the point where you scream (that tends to take a good 45 minutes and quite a few 'layers' of attention for me!) Do you enjoy making him happy too?

He needs to feel that you are enjoying it to get turned on so don't do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but just play around to get familiar with his body and what works for him. Ask him to be more vocal so you know when you're on the right track. Its in his best interests to tell you what he wants, not be all vague and say its up to you.

As for 'what do men like' - I would say basically 2 words - blow jobs. Whether he's sitting, laying down or kneeling up, with your hands or without, its guaranteed to make him happy. My DP likes it if I prolong it by stopping just before he comes and waiting a while before carrying on. Try using some (edible) lube to make it really slippery and just have fun with it!

Original poster
LanternGirl · 05/06/2013 12:14

Thanks for your suggestions. Keep them coming (no pun intended!)

OP posts:
DiamondDoris · 05/06/2013 14:41

Sensual penis massage (with a lube) rather than straight forward wanking of it. Eye contact. Talking. That sort of thing.

TooOldForGlitter · 05/06/2013 14:47

First post and it's sex tips Hmm

DoingItForMyself · 05/06/2013 14:59

I don't care Glitter I like talking about my boyfriend's cock, so any old excuse will do! Did try not to be too graphic in case Lantern is a pre-pubescent boy having a crafty day off school though. Wink

nenevomito · 05/06/2013 15:13

Its obviously done the job for them.
Should name change to TommyTank to make it even less obvious though.

YoniBottsBumgina · 05/06/2013 15:16

You can google "oral sex tips" or "hand job tips" if you're looking for practical advice, or places like Ann Summers often sell little books which have lots of ideas for spicing things up. Just try things out and have a laugh!

TooOldForGlitter · 05/06/2013 15:25

Arf at "like talking about my boyfriends cock" Grin

Does his left ball burn when you talk about it?!

burberryqueen · 05/06/2013 15:27

all men really want is a blow job

LadyMaiBlossom · 05/06/2013 16:26

Or just turn up naked with beer Grin

Ragwort · 05/06/2013 16:29

Doris - never known a man to want to talk during sex Grin ...... unless it's a certain sort of talking I suppose ?

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