how soon is too soon to meet new GF/BF?

[plasticpotato]

ExH and I separated 4 weeks ago - it was agreed i move out, each taking 50% care of the children. ExH told me last week he had met someone new, I told him to be sensitive around the kids as this is a very unsettled time for them at the minute.
He arrived at the door at the weekend with said woman in tow to pick the children up...I didnt know this was going to be happening, no advance warning or discussion. Have spoken to him since, he has already introduced them as his girlfriend, spent the day with them etc
I find his total lack of empathy towards our children so shocking. I feel it is far too soon to be introducing anyone new into their lives. I asked him if he can agree to keep her out of their company until things are more settled, he said no and is adamant. I can't believe I am writing this.
Am I over-reacting?

He should have told you so you could have prepared the children and yes it is too soon. Might he be doing it to shove it in your face, rather than really thinking about the kids. How old are the kids, and how do they feel. Has he been seeing her for more longer before you split?

Are you certain he only just met her?

Sounds like one if two things.

1. He left you and has actually been in contact with this woman for some time.

1. You left him and he grabbed the first bit if skirt available to replace you and make you jealous.

Either way he is BU to drag your kids into it.

Yeah I thought that too, he hasn't spoken to his parents about it either, as I'm sure they would be of the same opinion as me. One is just hitting puberty, the other 5. The younger I'm not so worried about.
I'm not sure how long he has been seeing her, but even if they had their first date last week, I feel it is too soon.
Is there anything I can do, he will not agree to keeping his private life private?

LookingForward - it was my decision to go. I'm so upset at how he can think his 'honesty' with the children is a good thing.

Nothing you can do sadly other than reassure your kids and answer any questions they have. And get a good lawyer to make sure the divorce and financial settlement is fair.

Agree with Number.

I'm afraid that ( as much as it sucks ) you can't really do anything about it.

He sounds awful for not considering his kids feelings.

It's way too soon. It's also a bit odd that the new girlfriend wants to meet her boyfriend's children after only a week.

I agree - I reckon it may have been going on longer than he is letting on but, regardless, it's way too soon.

This sort of thing is so bluddy selfish (to anyone with half a brain) - poor DCs trying to adjust to the change then some stranger appears in their life that they are expected to take to. A bit like when someone takes a new partner just after bereavement.
But it happens and there is nothing you can do except leave gaps for the children to ask questions or put forward their anxieties about this with only sympathy from you, not criticism of DP.

He is being completely unreasonable, childish and selfish. I would be furious in your position. STBXH has a lot of faults, but at least I can say he has DD's best interests at heart and wouldn't expose her to a string of short term girlfriends.

I would want a relationship to be very well established and likely to be long term before partners were introduced to children.

But unfortunately, as others have said, you're pretty powerless to do anything about it.

My ex introduced his girlfriend to DD about a month into the relationship, they planned to ambush me on xmas day, 5 months after we split. Told this woman (who is actually rather lovely and he was twat to dump her) she'd be DD's new mother.

He has done this with 2 other girlfriends. and my DD has SN, she doesnt take change well.

Sadly, i have no right to dictate what he does when with DD.

You cant either, i just hope your children dont bond with her and then shes gone.