Ex got married yesterday but why am I bothered about it?

[superdeeduper]

Heard through mutual friends/family that he was planning on getting married eventually tying the knot yesterday. We split 12 years ago and both started new relationships, having another child with our new partners. He has barely made any effort to see our children or give me any money in maintenance however.

While he has now married his partner, I am single again. I found myself in another abusive relationship and ended it a couple of years back. And I think this is the crux. My ex has just moved on without a thought of his first children. I have brought them up on my own with no input from him, financial or otherwise. I have been lonely, skint, had no social life but I have my wonderful children. Our life is very, very good something which wouldn't have happened if I had stayed with both exes. But I cant help feeling a bit funny about his wedding.

Why is it right that a complete bastard of a man gets to have this charmed life? Is it jealousy that I am feeling, I'm not sure. And I can't help but think that people are looking at me thinking there is something wrong with me as I am on my own again. And how can people go to this wedding pretending that his first children don't exist?

Not even really sure what I am trying to say really. Nice that he can pay for a wedding too when his kids get nothing from him

I think it would be very strange if you weren't bothered about it. It's a bit pointless being bothered by it but it is TOTALLY understandable. I have no advice other than reminding yourself how lucky you are to have got rid of him.

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Thanks for replying. It's not that I want him back as I know me and the kids are well shot of him. Its the fact that I am on my own again. I would like to be in a relationship again but can't see it happening. I guess that's what I am jealous about

Send him a card.

Dear x

Xxx said you've gotten married again, congratulations.

I'm so happy to hear life is working out for you so well. I hope you and your new wife are very happy together.

But what of us? Well our children are fine. We have a wonderful life together and they are the most amazing beautiful creatures who brighten my life everyday. I realise you may have forgotten about them as we have had no contact with you since xxxx and I don't recall any child support in my bank account since xxxx.

I can't imagine that you would've intentionally let this happen so can only draw the conclusion that you must be suffering from short and long term memory loss.

I've decided to help you out so if you go to a website called GOOGLE (that's how it's spelt, just type it like that). And then type CSA phone number in the box marked search you should end up with a telephone number that you can use to rectify this situation. You may want to grab a pen first in case your memory loss kicks in and you forget the number before you get finished dialling?

So yes just call them, explain about the memory loss and they should be able to assist you.

In case you have also forgotten who I am (we were together once, you may remember me giving birth to our children?) perhaps you could pass this card onto your new wife and she could assist you in dialling. She may also be interested in knowing about the memory loss as I'm sure any woman in her right mind wouldn't want to be married to a man who would wilfully abandon his children with no financial or parental input from himself.

Again CONGRATULATIONS...such wonderful news for you!!

Much love xxx and DC.

Pantone

Go to the CSA, your children deserve that money.

{{hugs}} for you. If you want to, hope you meet a good un soon.

Ace letter Pantone

I get what you're saying - my ex left 9 years ago. I have no feelings for him whatsoever but I do wonder if he ever thinks of the devastation and lasting impact it has had on his children not to mention me Should have been our 25th wedding anniversary last week ...

Your time will come I'm sure, but it is hard to watch them 'move on' with not even a backwards glance.

of course youre reflective,father of your kids,someone who was significant has remarried
you're left with the what ifs,day to day stuff.
give self pat on back for what you've achieved,stuff you've done,woman you're

When I heard ex was getting married I was over the moon - she could have him, frankly. The wedding day itself - well, hmm, I did feel a bit odd. Left behind kinda feeling. Completely mad because I was overjoyed to be shot of him.

He doesn't see his children or pay child support but has the time and funds to plan a wedding? What a tosser, it would bother me too.

I fecking love Pantone's passive aggressive approach, what a thing of beauty.