DP and I have been together for 3 years. I have a 5 year old DS from a previous marriage. It was a painful break up and I was treated pretty poorly, however, we are amicable for the sake of DS and he visits although I am very much his primary carer. DP and DS get on brilliantly and adore each other.
When I had DS, I had PND and vowed to myself that I'd never have another child but over the last year or so I've felt increasingly broody. DP has no children of his own and always indicated that one day he would probably like a child so we have been up and down about the idea, trying to make a final decision based on finances, work pressures etc.
Anyway, I've now got to the point where at 38 it's now or never and I'm keen but he has decided he doesn't want a child. DS and I are enough for him. It's knocked me much more than I imagined. It almost feels like a slight grief for the child I know I'm never going to have. Don't get me wrong - I know how lucky I am to have DS and I'm really focusing on the many positives of raising and being an only child but I feel very cold and distant towards DP. I'm not sure if or how long I'll get used to the idea. Has anyone been in a similar position? I'd appreciate any thoughts or advice.