Self esteem after shitty relationships

[Muuuuuuumcanihave]

I have only ever had 3long term relationships and each has follwed the same path. Violence emotional abuse financial abuse. I am determained to break the cycle. I want the old me back but different iygwim i had a year out of relationships when i was 19 and it was fab. I had a life friends happiness i took pride in my apperance. But the 2 relationships ive had since then have realy took it all away from me although i have gained 3 luvvly dcs whom im very proud off. How can i get some confidence back how can i start thinking better about myself? I have sworn myself off men until i get the doormat tattoo removed

Have you thought of attending the Freedom Programme?

No ive never heard of it. I did have some counselling last year but it didnt help as i was with exp then so it was defeating the object me trying to get my head straight then him messing it back up

"How can i get some confidence back how can i start thinking better about myself?"

I think being properly independent for now is a good idea. Confidence comes (I think) from making small achievements in incremental steps that get you towards a bigger long-term goal. Not knowing you, I can't say what that goal would be. One of my friends - single mother of three exiting an unhappy relationship - studied for a qualification. In the process she learned a lot about herself, discovered how resourceful she was and at the same time she was simply too constructively occupied to be worried about her ex or men in general. A more small-scale example ... last weekend I redecorated the hall/landing/stairs of my house. But I could stand back with a and a HobNob at the end and say to myself 'I did that... good job!' Confidence boosted.

So that's my suggestion. Pick things you want to do - big or small - and set yourself challenges.