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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

inspired by the 'stately homes' thread

23 replies

synaman · 30/05/2013 14:38

longtime lurker, first time poster... and it's going to be a hefty one!

I wanted to add my story after being inspired by the 'statley homes' thread ... I would have posted there, but once I got going I realised it's so big that I'd be better off starting a new thread.

I have renamed some people and places to retain some anonymity; I hope that's ok? Also; please note that I'm male (in case that confuses you in this!) and that this is going to be really really long!

I would really like any comments, advice, feedback (positive or negative) - I really would appreciate some inputs because sometimes this all gets on top of me and I find it quite hard to process.

So ok...
My Mum is Australian, and my Dad is Italian (very strong family values, apparently) and I was born and raised in the UK. My whole life all I ever heard from my mum was that she wanted to move back to Australia. I want to preface this first bit by saying that I was a very quiet and polite young man growing up ? I always got good grades, never got into trouble, blablabla. I was more into Sci-Fi and computers than sports or cars (which didn't sit well with my family) and as a result I felt (and was told - many times) that I was a disappointment and not 'normal' by my parents ("why can't you like football like a normal boy your age" etc). I never really bonded with my Dad who was too meek to ever stand up to my Mum (and we had nothing in common as he was a real man's man), and my Mum is a narcissist who believes the whole world should revolve around her (and unfortunately my Dad was her enabler).

I never had an easy time growing up, but by the time I got to highschool my Mum had become increasingly abusive (both physically and emotionally). At age 11 she decided that she no longer wanted to feed me (and locked the cupboards so I couldn't take any food), and told me she wished I had never been born. This was made worse because I have two younger sisters who she doted on and utterly adored. On more than one occasion she tried to have my Dad "send me away" because she "couldn't stand to see me any more." I remember at age 12 being sat down and told by my Dad that he loved me very much, but his Mum was there first. That I needed to stay out of my Mum's way as much as possible or I may have to live with my grandma or go to some sort of home.

I got by doing paper-rounds or working cash-in-hand, and I bought, cooked, cleaned and ironed for myself from ~12years old. I generally tried to stay out of her way as much as humanly possible and I basically lived in my room when I was home. All that being said, I grew up to be a well-adjusted, sociable, friendly guy, so I don't think it affected my personal development that much. If people knew, I think they'd be surprised that I wasn't more 'messed up' if that makes sense?

After enduring this for pretty much as long as I can remember, at age 15 or 16 (when I was doing my GCSEs) my Dad got offered a job in Australia. My Mum was delighted, and they decided between them that I would stay in the UK and do my GCSEs and A-Levels by myself, whilst my parents and sisters would move to Australia. To cut a long story short I had a realisation that - despite my home life being utterly miserable - I was too young to be left alone. I was worried that I would fail all my exams and end up going off the rails? so I asked to come with them. I don't pretend to understand the legalities of it all, but eventually they were forced to bring me with them at very short notice (4 days or something?) much to their obvious disappointment.

Thankfully when she got back to Australia my Mum mellowed a little bit, and generally left me alone to complete my schooling (best decision of my life ? if I?d stayed in the UK I?d be nowhere today). I applied to and was accepted into Uni in the UK, hoping that I could get as far away as possible from them, and generally live a normal life at 18. Between the ages of 18-21 I had the most liberating time of my life, and loved every second of Uni.

I studied hard and got a good degree, and in my final year of Uni I met my DP. We really hit it off, I knew she was the one. Problem was that I had already accepted a job offer in Australia (much to the delight of my Dad who kept saying he missed me) ? which meant that I could see my sisters and Dad if I wanted to. I ended up rejecting the job and staying in the UK with my DP, much to the anger and disappointment of my family (I still don't understand why they were so upset? Maybe they realised I picked her over them and it hurt?).

I got a very good well paid job and some time passed. Next year, when my parents were visiting the UK, DP convinced me she'd like to meet them (she knew about my past, but wanted to try to help fix things). I knew it was a bad idea, but I said yes in the end. We met them and she was absolutely lovely to them, but in response they were extremely horrible and rude to her (zero provocation ? other than I picked her over them?). One of my sisters (Chloe) had become just like my Mum except even more twisted and vindictive, and decided to start a hate campaign against us ? she started emailing DP death threats, writing blogs online about how much she hated DP, doctoring photos of us, she even somehow got some very sensitive information about DP?s sister (Mary) and used it to insult and humiliate her to the point of Mary almost committing suicide (- trust me it was that bad.). My Mum thought this was funny and was almost egging her on, and my Dad acted like an ostrich and stuck his head in the sand, and ignored it all.

After many many fights over how rubbish my family were I convinced DP that I?d not have anything more to do with them. We eventually moved on, cut all outward communication with them, and got on with our lives.

Years later I proposed, and she accepted ? and all of the above being a distant and less hurt-filled memory, combined with my grandma convincing us that they?d changed and it was very important that Italian families stick together (etc), we grudgingly invited my parents and sister to the wedding on the strict proviso that Chloe was not allowed to come. As a wedding present my Dad gave us £20,000, and I?m ashamed to say that it made the whole situation more tolerable at that point in time - at the time he said it was a gift, later on he said it was for the wedding/honeymoon, and later on he said it was a loan. Legally though he sent it as a 'deed of gift' which we were glad to receive (and built some bridges with DP and my family). In the end the full £20k went towards the deposit of our first home, so we can never realistically give it back now (as it's spent).

To cut a long story short (and as if you didn't guess it) they brought Chloe anyway. Chloe spent the whole day ruining our wedding and making everyone feel extremely uncomfortable, bringing Mary to tears several times with her snide comments, etc... My parents were too ashamed to tell anyone why we?d excluded Chloe from the invites, and because it was my wedding day and I didn?t want to get involved. I tried to have her ejected from the venue but someone bought her a room in the hotel so (as a paying guest) she had every right to be in the communal lounge just outside of our wedding meal/evening party. Chloe invented some BS story about DP and her family trying to exclude her which turned half of my Dad?s Italian family against us. I started getting verbal abuse from my Dad?s family throughout the day (which made zero sense to me at the time, but hearing what had happened makes me sick to my stomach now), culminating in them staging a walk-out during the disco in the evening ? pulling the plug on the music to announce that the wedding was a complete farce and that I was no longer welcome in their family. It was insane.

The wedding was completely ruined (obviously) which sent DP into a very deep depression which almost led to our divorce. We managed to get back on track after about a year but sadly DP?s mother passed away (unrelated), which sent her into another long depression. It felt like everything was going wrong at that point which put a massive strain on us and her family. I tired to be as supportive as possible, and thankfully we got through to the other side together. To this day though, my wife mourns for the wedding she never had, and that she?ll never be able to have (her Mum being gone now) and we cannot really afford to do the whole 'big thing' again like she'd always dreamt. It?s heart-breaking, I wish I could do something to help her, but I don?t know how.

This time we decided that whatever happened we would never ever let them back into our life again. The Italians being very ?family-orientated? had decided that we were no longer part of our family and could not be convinced of the truth, and we received word that we?d been written out of wills, and generally excommunicated (and that I'd been disowned). My Dad even sent bailiffs after us to try to recover the £20k he?d given us, and threatened to sue us to get his money back. There is no doubt in my mind that he only did this to appease my Mum who will have been the person behind this; but unfortunately there's no way I can prove this.

As a result we changed EVERYTHING about our lives; our jobs, our address, our emails, phone numbers, even our last name (which was Italian) in a bid to never hear from them ever again. It?s been 2.5 years, and we now have a 2yo baby girl who will never meet 3 of her grandparents? but I feel like it?s finally over. Thing is, I am worried that one day they will pop up again, and I just feel generally uneasy :-(

Sorry I?ve run out of steam now, that was a very long one! That?s generally where we are now ? as I said before, any feedback would be greatly appreciated! I?m an open book and would be happy to answer any questions. Thanks all

OP posts:
lemmingcurd · 30/05/2013 18:01

Hello OP, didn't want your post to go unanswered. Congratulations on all you have achieved, also to yr Dw. I can totally understand where she is coming from and why you feel uneasy but if you have come this far you are both v strong and lovely people and will continue to do strong and positive things together. One thing's for sure, the people who did those things to you do not deserve one millimetre of your headspace.
Posted because of similar (but much less extreme) narcissistic abusive crap in my life that has taken me 20 yrs to shake off completely. But now I have and it's v liberating. Always think positive and tell each other you are mutually fabulous on a daily basis. Lots of positive internet energy coming your way xxxxxWink

wheredidiputit · 30/05/2013 18:08

Synaman

I have no advice as I wouldn't know where to start.

But I would say your have grown into a very good man despite what your family have done to you. I say your family as your DAD to blame as much as your MUM as he did nothing to protect you.

I wish you, your wife and DC a happy life.

MillyMollyMandy78 · 30/05/2013 18:14

Didn't want to read and run... I also have a narcissist mother and enabler dad. The abuse I suffered was MUCH less extreme than what you and your poor partner have gone through. I cut my mum out of my life about three weeks ago and have found it a struggle at times, so I can hardly imagine the strain that you have gone through.
I don't really know that I can off you any help but I just want to wish you all the veery best. It sounds as though you have a very strong and loving relationship. Many would crumble with only a fraction of what you have both been through.
Keep posting on here if it helps - I have found it to be helpful for me. Maybe I will see you on the stately homes thread in the future...

Vivacia · 30/05/2013 18:35

Synman, I'm not sure what advice you're after, you seem to have survived under very difficult conditions! The only advice I can think to offer is to bear in mind that you did what you had to do, to survive. That's not to say you might want to make different choices in the future (given that your life is different).

Would you consider seeing a therapist to help you with the "What ifs"?

sensesworkingovertime · 30/05/2013 19:09

Hi Synaman, although your post was long it was totally riveting - it actually reads like a film script. I hope this doesn't sound like I am making light of anything, it's just all the drama and the things that have happened to you and you have come out of it so well, it seems, and strong.

The crux of your posting is that you say you did it as it sometimes gets on top of you blimey, sometimes, I am surprised that going through all this has not totally messed you up, it is just beyond belief how strong and resilient you must be. What example did you have to meet a loving partner and have a lovely family and do all your studying and get a job? You didn't have that example by all accounts, so well done you.

You wanted feedback, well a few thoughts just pop into my head as I try to process what you went through...what did you do to deserve going through this horrendous treatment by the people who were supposed to love and care for you? Nothing. It is no wonder you have to write things down and try to figure it out. Can you imagine for a second treating your family as they treated you?

My only advice is to see a counsellor to have the chance to get all this out if you think that would help you. It's also good to write things down, as you've done so here. When things have been getting to me lately I have been processing it by thinking a) what I would like to be happening ( instead of the stressful stuff that is happening) and b) how I am going to cope with what is actually happening, as this is the only choice I've got. I hope this makes some sense! Take care.

bootsycollins · 30/05/2013 20:12

Hey synaman no advice but I just wanted to say thank fuck you haven't ended up bitter and twisted. I'm sorry that things have been so shitty for you but you've got rid of the bastards now so just carry on living and building your lovely new life with your dw and dd Smile

musickeepsmesane · 30/05/2013 20:29

Hi synaman. I would agree that you go for counselling. It seems you have read other threads here about abusive parenting. It seem that your mother 'ghosted' you. You have done an amazing job of managing your life so far. I think that it is common for those of us who have had a difficult childhood to feel stuck when we are in our midthirties/forties. Memories get more difficult to live with somehow. Thoughts usually managed are heavier. An experienced therapist/counsellor will help you continue to process everything you and your partner have been through. I hope you continue to use the support on here meantime.

bbqsummer · 30/05/2013 20:41

Great first post. A really interesting read. How horrible for you both to have to go through all of that.

Getting rid of these types (I have a similar family) is so difficult but actually, after a couple of years of no/very limited banal contact, it's not that bothersome. They're like gnats you have to keep batting away.

Your Dad is pathetic (as is mine) and your mother vindictive (as is mine) and your sister histrionic (as is mine).

It must be so hard for a partner/wife/husband who hasn't experienced these sort of dysfunctional families, to actually believe how totally shit they can be in the first place.

Hats off to you and your wife for being so great together and having your lovely baby.

The whole big wedding thing simply is not possible with these narcissist / sociopath types sucking the life out of your existence. But I totally understand your wife being sad that she didn't have the whole happy, big normal-family-loving-wedding-day thing.

Hopefully any depression over that will lift as no contact with any of them continues to grow (like a beautiful clematis as opposed to the suffocating bindweed that remaining in contact would germinate iyswim) and then in the summer, could you afford to just take your baby to a pretty church in the countryside or a chapel on a greek island and renew your wedding vows?

synaman · 30/05/2013 22:00

Firstly thank you for all of your replies, it really helps just getting it out there. A massive well done to everyone who managed to get through that post; and lastly, my heartfelt thanks to those who thought it wasn't a massive slog to read through it all (I know what you meant, so no offence taken - quite the opposite, thank you!)

When DP was going through her 2nd bout of depression I did go to counselling for a time, and it did help to talk about things, but at the time I needed to be strong for her and it was taking up a lot of emotional energy to re-live it all whilst trying to support her; and I just couldn't do both at the same time. I will look into going back sometime soon.

I am blessed to have such a loving and understanding partner, and it was very hard for me to explain to her my family -- as I said, she initially didn't want to or couldn't understand how bad it was, and she wanted to meet them thinking she could make things better. we joke about going back to that time and giving her a telling off!! That being said, she came from the closest and most loving family ever, and I really feel that a lot of what I am now is down to my 'rehabilitation' through them (!).

We are hoping to go to Italy / Turkey / Greece next year, so I will look into the possibility of renewing our vows whilst there (maybe as a surprise?). I know it won't be the same, I know she'll be sad her Mum couldn't be there, and I know it's not the 'big wedding' she'd always dreamt of... but I think she'd love the sentiment. Thank you for the idea.

No contact does get easier over time, but when you've been hurt for so long it's very hard to feel finally 'safe' if that makes sense? I am probably more anxious than most; worrying that one day it may start off again... maybe counselling again would help.

I wasn't sure what advice i was after either; I did just want to get it out there and see what people thought or how I could have maybe reacted a little bit differently, or gone about things in other ways. I have appreciated the suggestions on the renewal of vows and counselling ... but subconsciously I probably just wanted a degree of validation that I did the best that I could have, given the cards I'd been dealt...

My motto in life may sound sad, but when looking after DD, I always think to myself: what would I have wanted vs what would they have done (and try to avoid that) - I look to my DP for guidance a lot as she is very well adjusted, and I look back on my experiences more as things to avoid and as lessons learned. After all; we can only improve on what we knew growing up, and I'm fairly confident I won't be that bad!!

Anyway, thank you all for reading - I have really appreciated this and will check back in regularly.

OP posts:
vintagecakeisstillnice · 30/05/2013 22:31

Damn it Man! How the hell you and your DP aren't sitting rocking in a corner is beyond me?

You should both be very proud of yourselves.

I can understand slightly, I have only finally gotten to the point after 17 years to remember that I can't expect OHs family to act/react ' normally'.
I mean my lot ain't the Waltons, but hell his lot?.WOW and still not 5% of yours.

Whatever it is that your doing carry on doing it. You sound like a lovely couple, be happy with your child.

I do think touching base with a councillor occasionally might help both of you just for reassurance.

I wish you all the best.

bbqsummer · 30/05/2013 22:46

I think it's very basic Op - just don't bother with them.

I only reply with banal stuff by text if my dad gets in touch now and after five years it's all arms length and really not important.

You have met your wife who gives you the loving grounding norms and the yardsticks as to what is normal or not, and similarly I have lovely friends who have given me the same grounding norms and yardsticks.

We're lucky we have got these normal people with normal family fall-outs or gripes in our lives, as opposed to the screaming ab-dabs bollocks that makes your hair fall out.

I really don't think about my blood family. I have a gorgeous son and he's great fun. He was a super fat gurgly baby and we go on great holidays and meet up with all our friends.

I really don't bother with the original lot.

Bedtime1 · 31/05/2013 05:28

Synamen - it sounds very tough what you have been through. I identify with some of the things you say but I feel your situation sounds much worse than mine. Your mum making you feel so outcast as a boy that must have been so hard.

I think it is lovely that you now have your own family to focus on and I'm sure you will be the best dad in the world to your daughter.

I always wonder how to cope. I'm still in touch with my family, it's becoming less and less. I often feel lonely and am scared about not having them in my life even though they treat me very badly. I think I just put up with the crap as I'm fearful. How do you cope with not seeing anyone on your side of the family? Obviously I know they have been very abusive and can see that that would be a relief but I find the other side hard to get used to having no mum and dad to love me and the thinking about what a mum and dad should be like and aren't. Then you see your other half with there family having a healthy relationship and your happy but sad too because you wish that is what your family were like and could love and support you in the same way. That does hurt. Do you know what I mean?

ClarryG · 31/05/2013 06:22

I wonder if your DW could have some counselling to deal with the disappointment over your wedding and the loss of her mother. Just talking it over with someone outwith the family might help her put it to bed.

Your parents will be getting older, perhaps having health problems, your siblings will be busy with their relationships and children. So hopefully they will have enough to contend with in their own lives without finding a need to interfere with yours again. Life moves on. So hopefully you will be left in peace by them now.

Best of luck, you have done amazingly well to achieve what you have.

something2say · 31/05/2013 07:05

Hello.

Wow what a story.m I am so sorry to read about it all.

I just want to say that sometimes people are born into really shit families and it is nothing to do with them.

I think you are completely right to have sacked them off. I have had to do the same btw so I understand.

Is there any way that you are embroiled with them still? Anything financial, any contact?

Can you cut it off?

I have found that the longer time goes on, the better I feel. When they make contact, I feel awful. So anything to can do that reduces their ability to get to me helps. I recommend it. Cut all ties.

Also really try sticking close to your wife. The things you describe have been awful and she will have been affected and it is important that you are another able to say this openly. It's alright to say it and find it true. I mean pulling the music plug at someone s wedding????? Announcing that someone else relationship is a farce?

I know you wanted them to love you, I get that, but cutting them off would have been better longer ago. I too waited, until I had had enough, but as a stranger, and one on your side, fuck them.

These are the things I have found recently that help.

Get out there, do not stay in alone and be isolated. Get up, go out. Have fun.
Get support from people. Tell people what happened. Don't suffer and be alone with it.
Look at your responses to it. Did you fight, stand up for yourself? Do so.m do not give in. You do not deserve treatment like this. It is not about you. It is about them. That is a fact. Who behaves like that? Who ignores behaviour like theirs and brushes it under the carpet and then calls that family? Stand up for yourself and your wife, it's ok.
Expect high standards of yourself. Do not get angry and behave badly. Think it through, find the truth, act on it, be good and proud and strong. Be open with them about he you are getting them out of your life.
Do not dwell on it to long. Work on thinking positive thoughts. How did they fuck you up? What scars are left? What needs doing to overturn this? Do that work. Stick up signs around your house that say I am worth it.

From one survivor to another. Xxx

CambridgeBlue · 31/05/2013 07:35

Wow I didn't expect that when I clicked on this thread, I am sorry you've had such an awful time OP but you seem to have come out of it all a really nice guy.

I had a few thoughts reading your post, the main one being that it's totally natural for you to be feeling a bit unsure of things recently. When you become a parent yourself it makes you look back at your own childhood (I did anyway) and compare how your parents felt/behaved with your current situation. This can open up all sorts of old wounds - although it doesn't sound as though you have had much time for the things that happened to you to become 'old' and you've clearly had more to deal with than most people.

I really sympathise with your wife about the wedding, it must have been awful. But one way of looking at it may be that many people have an amazing day but the marriage doesn't last. Your day was ruined but you seem to have a great strong marriage and that is something to be very grateful for. I agree that maybe a renewal would be a good idea, it won't be the same for her without her mum but it would be a positive fresh start, a sign that you are moving forward with your new little family and leaving the past behind.

Finally in terms of worrying about our family contacting you, I think you need to address exactly what you'd do if they did. If you can plan a bit how you would behave and maybe clarify your position legally over the money then you may feel more able to deal with it should it ever happen - accepting that it might and deciding how to deal with it is your best defence IMO.

I hope this is useful and that things work out for you all :)

Aussiebean · 31/05/2013 07:58

I would say your dad missed you because you are no longer the punching bag and he now has that honour. If you had gone to Australia the heat would have been off him.

Well done on your escape and relish the family you now have have.

Respect is not a right, it is earned and they haven't earned anything from you.

synaman · 31/05/2013 09:39

Just want to reply to those who took the time to read through and comment (thank you all again)

vintagecakeisstillnice: I think my work has a free counselling service these days, so I might talk with them. Then again I worry that if they do that, they'll make a note of it or tell my manager that I may be mentally unstable or something, and I just can't be dealing with that. Maybe NHS would be better? But then I don't want psych notes on my NHS record either sigh Private is quite expensive though.

bbqsummer: I understand what you mean, and yes it does get easier - there's always this niggling doubt though; makes me worry because I've never had a time of zero contact and just (trying to find the right word..) 'peace' ? (if that makes sense?). It's hard to accept that for once things are actually good?

Bedtime1 & CambridgeBlue: Your posts really struck a chord with me. I am a new parent without a support network, and without a good example to follow - and after the death of my MIL (who was a fantastic woman) my FIL has gone into himself so DP and I are alone (in terms of immediate family). We're struggling to adapt to these new roles, but thankfully DP knows what's normal. I do get upset every so often and feel like I've been cheated out of a normal upbringing, and missed my childhood etc - all of that whallowing self-pity stuff; but I am thankful I've managed to get away from them and thankful that DD will never have to deal with any of them (I hope she never asks questions about them, what would I say?! I have no idea). Generally speaking, it's a dual edged sword. I wish I had their love, support and acceptance, but I couldn't care less about them as people so their opinion should be worthless... but the blood bond is very strong and makes me miss them? It's very emotionally confusing and conflicting. I know what you mean though, and empathise wholeheartedly.

ClarryG: my nice sister recently had a baby (which again is hard to know that I will never meet because she cut contact with me - which I understand because she was still living with my parents at the time), so thankfully they will have enough to deal with now without needing to bother me. DP doesn't believe in counselling and has similar fears over NHS making a psych note on her records in case we have another child. I think she's dealing with it, and if I can arrange a renewal of vows I think she'd be surprised and excited and give her something nice, which she deserves :)

something2say: I checked with my solicitor who got the deed of gift sorted out for the 20k. Apparently, legally, I'm safe - but as a result of that obviously I've been written out of everyone's wills; so I look at that 20k as my inheritance now, and act as if I have almost no family. As I said; we changed name, address, jobs, emails, phones, everything we could possibly think of to cut all contact. So without major investigatory work on their part they'll never find us (I hope). One thing makes me very sad though - my Italian grandma and my Australian Aunt are lovely ladies, and I talk to them both once a month (on the understanding that little to no information goes to or from my parents) - but I always dial 141 or call from a phone not connected to me (how ridiculous is that?) so they have no way of contacting me. That may sound ridiculous, but I couldn't live with myself knowing that my details were out there and could potentially get back to my parents. I should have cut my parents off a long time ago - and please understand that the above is just a fraction of what happened - but I don't know if I was programmed to 'take it' and come back for more, hoping one day to get a shred of praise? I don't know, that's pretty messed up...

Aussiebean: I'd never considered that but I think you may be right. My Mum is one of those people who has to have at least one person to hate and vent on, and that makes me feel for my Dad (despite everything) as I guess he'd be the next natural candidate? Maybe I was the buffer, and I guess looking back I was obviously the whipping-dog. Thankfully it's not my problem right now.

Thanks all.

OP posts:
Merrin · 31/05/2013 09:42

So sorry for your childhood and terrible family. Have you made sure that they will never get custody of your child if you were both to die? I would have legal advice about that.

Good luck for the future.

MillyMollyMandy78 · 31/05/2013 10:32

Synaman - just wanted to put some of your concerns to rest about counselling. My husband is a GP and I work in the same surgery. As part of our job it is necessary for us both to access people's medical records on a daily basis. If you are referred for counselling then there will be a note of this made on your records. There will also be a brief summary of each session eg that you attended, etc. No details about what you discuss will appear on your NHS medical notes. Plus, nobody can access your medical notes unless you provide written permission asking for them to see your notes. This confidentiality is something that any surgery would take extremely seriously.
The same confidentiality would also apply if you accessed counselling through work. Your employer would not be privvy to details of your personal choice. If you feel that counselling would help, go for it!

Andro · 31/05/2013 11:22

Wow! Your story has some eerie similarities to mine (unreasonable mother, siblings being doted on and given preferential treatment, exclusion tactics etc). I also have Italian family, fortunately they saw straight through my mother's behaviour so it hasn't exploded like your situation and I am on speaking terms with my mother but it's still not great!

The only advice I can offer is to do what is best for your family, if that means therapy then so be it. A toxic background can either make you or break you, if you allow it to do the latter then the toxic person/people have won.

Hookedonclassics · 31/05/2013 13:20

Thank goodness they live so far away! Your ma can Chloe sound really vile!

Hookedonclassics · 31/05/2013 13:20

And

sensesworkingovertime · 31/05/2013 16:19

I probably just wanted a degree of validation that I did the best that I could have, given the cards I'd been dealt...

Hello again, I'm glad you found some help on here and you certainly were dealt a most awful pack of cards...you played a tremendously good hand.

I agree with other posters about going somewhere lovely for renewing your vows if you feel they were spoilt on that awful day. If it's any consolation though, your DWs mum saw what was important that day, that you loved each other very much and in a funny(?) way could see how strong it was as you both survived this abuse.

Love and best wishes to you and your family.

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