Is he a player?

[newhorizon]

I haven't been on here in quite a while!

I've been seeing a guy who I met through OD. Being seeing other other since January. We hit it off straight away! He appears all that I would hope for in a man..except he's still active on the site. We both agreed a number of months back, we would both come off the site. I don't know where he gets the time, he works all hours and we only see each other once or twice a week. We're also just back from a great sun holiday, had a fab time. He doesn't strike me as a player but then who knows...

What do I do? How do i broach the subject? Or do you think i should just move on...with radio silence.

Any advice appreciated

Was in a similar situation and he said he was waiting for his subscription to run out as he had paid up in advance! He did come off it when I asked him to though. When you say he is active what is he actually doing? I think I would ask him to come off and if he doesn't then you know that he's not worth continuing with.

Thanks for reply.

He's on pof, no subscription fee. He was online today. One of the girls in work signed up and I saw him on it. She sent a message and he replied wanting a photo with general chit-chat. I hate this game playing.

Apart from the incident today, he gives me no reason not to trust him.

Seems childish this carry on

Just ask him! If he is a nice guy he will explain and if he isn't he will lie/bullshit/blame you for something. Life is to short to waste it with the wrong person. I am getting blunter these days and I think my relationships are all the better for it.
Straightforward question: Why are you still going on the dating site when we said we would come off? Does it mean you are not sure about our relationship?

wtaf? that is not normal and not kind - especially since you have already had the discussion. i don't know about him being a player, but he certainly is hedging his bets. i'm so sorry, this must be absolutely awful for you. the holiday surely shows some level of commitment between you but his message to your colleague tells you everything you need to know.

i am a huge supporter of OD, it has it's place but - from own experience - it can become quite addictive. maybe he just misses the excitement of chatting to someone new. address it, there is every possibility that this could work out. but i am sure you would rather know now that find out he is still doing this a further six months down the line

He's working tonight but I will talk to him. I have to be honest, I don't think I could trust him now. The fact he responded to my colleague says it all really. My heart sunk.

The worst of it is, he told me he loved me bla..bla. Meant nothing, just lip service.

Thanks all. Needed the rant!!

What on earth are you on about woman? Good God!

You say ' Hello. We had an agreement that we would both come off the site and have an exclusive relationship. I know that you are still active on there. Goodbye '

Or words to that effect. There is no 'game playing ' here... he is very simply keeping his options open and still interested in seeing other women who might catch his eye.

No need to go quiet on him, don't be passive aggressive. Speak up, tell him why and DITCH HIM

What she said ^

Is he working? Or is he dating other people while he says he's working?

I think it's quite sensible for people who are OD to have several dates on the go at the same time TBH, but once the exclusivity discussion has taken place and been agreed on, it's cheating.

You HAVE to put your FEELINGS about this guy to one side for now. YOUR feelings for YOU need to come first.

Speak up, tell him straight get use your colleague's log in and send it from her OD profile that you consider this CHEATING

You have been seeing him for nigh on a year, he's said the I

He's just been on holiday shagging you for a week and now he's asking women for their photos online.

Yes, he's a player.

What does he do.work wise that necessitates him working all hours?