Strange goings on!

[Chaoscarriesonagain]

I know it's not anything gravely serious, but just wanted to write it down/rant anyways! So here goes

Had a bit of a pants time with ex and decided I should try and put myself back out there almost 6 months on. Anyways, I decide to give Guardian Soulmates a try.

I get chatting to a seemingly nice bloke- a bit older- but nice. Intelligent conversation flows on email and be seems genuinely interested. Nice enough looking, but not gorgeous.

Fast forward a months worth of constant emails and we take the plunge to meet. I like him although I am aware he's a good bit older, and perhaps obvious. He's very keen, flattering me and touches my leg at one point. It wasnt in a creepy way, either.

We leave after having dinner and sodas and a very polite peck on the lips, and a text to thank me.

We continue emailing. Fast forward a week and am in his hometown on personal business and agree to meet him the following day for lunch.

I meet him and we have what I think a lovely after ion. Laughed lots, he flatters me again, seems miffed that I don't sit next to him and choose opposite etc. am beginning to think , ok maybe you and I can get on. We end the date by him kissing me again and asking to hug me, all very nice really.

Bit of a stealth boost here, but I did think that I was perhaps slightly better looking (!) can I say that? And obviously younger, anyway , that's irrelevant until the next bit;

Yesterday comes and yesterday goes. We email as usual, but less frequent and i notice it's all very one sided which is quite out of character for him, or so I think. I ask is everything ok, and he says he's not feeling well (diabetic)

This morning was almost over and I hadn't heard which too was odd, I'd always wait for him to mail first. I politely asked how he was and was met with get another half assed reply. At dinner time I decide to ask him if he can call me. I get a curt reply saying he's out - unusual.

I reply saying what is really wrong and then bam

It's just that whilst he genuinely likes me he doesn't find me attractive enough !! - am really not Unattractive and a bit shocked by the rudeness, immaturity and utter ungentlemanliness (I made that word up!) of it all!

I reply and say ok. I felt it lacked manners but accepted that. Then he reiterates it again!!!

Am now in the bath feeling ugly, frankly!

As if my confidence wasnt bust enough already. Thoughts?!?!?

And, yes, he could have been more tactful but this is why I would never push for a reason there wasn't a date happening, there is either a lie or a horrible truth at the bottom of it.

Thanks fairylea am glad you're happy with DH :)

varya I know, it just knocked me for 6!

Hesterton you put it so eloquently , so true, he really had no decorum

mumsy it was one email to ask how he was then he emailed back and I hadn't a chance to mail back at work as was busy. I had noticed he wasn't very forthcoming either. I had texted about speaking on the telephone to try and suss it out. When he'd replied I asked what the matter was. I don't think this was intrusive by any means, given he contacted me a lot.

I agree after 2 dates it is crunch time, I'd just have liked more manners and care, and that's what this is about - it chipped my confidence a bit

I didn't push for what was happening in any manner, nor did I push for a fight. I simply did the adult thing, suspected something was amiss and asked the question. I didn't expect the blunt response. But maybe I deserved t? I don't know, hence why I posted here !!

I think that's appalling behaviour. He might not be attracted to you but that doesn't mean you're 'not attractive enough.' I met someone online who was at face value quite unattractive looks-wise and I was momentarily disappointed. However, that only lasted about five minutes because we had built up such a connection online and we clicked when we met so it didn't matter.

Mind you, some people are so fussy about what they are looking for in a partner - in real life and online. You have to think, lucky escape.

Thanks unapologetic I just need to know that I am NBU!!

Hmmmmmph!!!!

There's something more shocking than hurtful about a statement as blunt as his. Don't let it affect your confidence - it's got nothing to do with you. You're well off out, that's the main thing.

I think I just naively thought better of him from the many email exchanges.

Lightening can't strike twice with me and nasty men. Ok so he wasnt nasty as such, but it was mean!

So, he thought all day about how to tell you and THAT was the best he could come with?????
Not very bright, is he?
Seriously Chaos, you can do better than that!

Yep, stellar isn't it!!!