Think I'm about to break up my marriage...

[ThatLightbulbMoment]

I just can't take it any more

My husband is totally emotionally unavailable to me and the dcs, and nobody is happy. Every day he comes home and straight away tells the kids to go upstairs so he can get some peace. There is no interaction, just "go to your room"

If I'm not in the room and the baby starts crying, he ignores her and carries on watching TV or playing games.

He doesn't seem to have any respect for anyone, he treats me like the maid, just there to cook and clean for him- I feel invisible.

Our son is being diagnosed with ASD, H refuses to accept that he is not a normal little boy and says that he's "just a little shit" and that I pander to it (I don't- I just pick my battles and as long as he's safe and happy then a bit of odd behaviour is neither here nor there).

Basically I need him to leave, but I want to get myself together first so I don't have to try and do it while dealing with the inevitable fallout.

I need advice- what should I be doing?

Thankyou for reading

He's leaving today... I feel a bit broken

I know it's for the best but that doesn't make it easier. I told the kids this morning. Ds laughed. He doesn't understand at all. Dd1 is very upset. Dd2 id obviously too little to know any different.

I really hope he sorts himself out and can be a good dad to them. If he gets help and changes enough maybe we can be a family again.

I love him so much... It's so sad

Cyber hugs.

Thankyou

I don't know what to do with myself. He has just packed up and will be leaving for work in about half an hour.

I think I need to get out for a while and clear my head. Ds is at school so I will take the girls to do the food shop and take it from there.

My best friend is coming over later to keep me company too.

When was ds diagnosed? Was it recent?
It sounds like he is still in the denial stage. It seems to be more difficult for men to acknowledge their child has special needs.
He also sounds depressed to me.
It is a shame he didn't try to find help. Maybe things could have improved.

The diagnosis was very recent, but we have been going through the process for about a year and a half.

I think you're right, he is in denial about it. I also believe he is depressed.

I really hope he gets help and sorts himself out. I can't let him come home unless there is big changes in his behaviour.

It's terribly sad though. I never thought this would happen. We have been together so long and been through so much as a couple. I thought we could get through anything. Perhaps we can get through this too, but not if he doesn't accept the way things are and gets himself into a better place...

Oh sod his depression.

Get shot for the sake of yourself and the kids.

Sorry, mis read.

You did!

Well done you.

You will get over the shock.

Please do try to feel sorry for yourself and not him.

OP you are doing the right thing - your kids will thank you.