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Relationships

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Original poster

would you finish with someone if...

74 replies

ImABadGirl · 24/05/2013 23:12

they had a very small willy and was rubbish in bed.

Is this shallow or just facing reality that sex is actually quite a fundamental part of a relationship?

OP posts:

MarshmallowRoot · 25/05/2013 11:29

I would definitely stay with someone bad in bed and with a small willy if I liked them as a person and they were willing to learn to pleasure me in other ways.

However I actually do not much like PIV sex anyway (horrendous cystitis problems), I much prefer other things so that would be perfect for me.

I always feel that people shouldn't be judged for looks or willy / vagina size (idealistic I know!), because I hate being judged for such things, it totally turns me off. That said, if you really really are not into someone they will probably be able to tell when you are just going along with it and that itself will probably hurt them.

oldwomaninashoe · 25/05/2013 17:01

Fortunately I have only been in this position once (it was like being poked with a pencil)
Sex was a complete non event, I never saw him (or felt him) again.

SnookyPooky · 25/05/2013 18:33

Oh this happened to me one. Amazing build up, horny as hell, I thought I was going to explode. Thought it would be great, over in less than a minute and so small I could hardly feel it. Sooooo disappointing. We tried again a few times but no improvement. Dumped.

On the other hand, have known one with a fairly small willy who knew EXACTLY what he was doing and it was some of the best sex I ever had.

scarletforya · 25/05/2013 18:41

Hell yeh I would. He wouldn't get past the first audition.

Sex is a non negotiable. If it's not right who wants to 'teach' someone (major turn off) or make do with oral and vibes.

If that makes me shallow so be it. But no I wouldn't settle for someone who wasn't sexy and sexually confident.

TheOrchardKeeper · 25/05/2013 18:50

You want what you want in bed.

That wasn't it.

I genuinely think trying to force it is just like trying to put a rug on the elephant in the room. You're still going to smack your face in the issue over and over...

I also seriously believe some people just don't 'go' together well. Literally not physically very compatible. That would also be a 'thanks but no thanks' from me.

It's a tough one cus no one wants to feel like they're being shallow about it but it is an important part of most relationships so you just can't bodge it

Concreteblonde · 25/05/2013 18:54

Rubbish in bed is an absolute deal breaker especially if it's an older guy who has been in long term relationships before. In the emails I intercepted between Ex and OW he talked about their less than satisfactory sex life and gave her a list of solutions he wanted them to try. I felt like emailing her to tell her not to waste her time cos he'd tried them all before Life is too short to spend with a selfish man. There are plenty of guys out there who are shit hot in bed if sex IS important to you. I'm very glad that I'm not married to Mr 2 pumps and a squirt anymore!

lollydollydrop · 25/05/2013 19:01

They say you get better with practice, but I think some people are always going to be a bit shit (from experience). If I wasnt in love with him, I would probably move on and find someone else. It depended how old I was and how horny I was! (Sounds like you are quite horny so maybe move on..) :)

unapologetic · 25/05/2013 19:01

Maybe some women are not really into sex so it wouldn't be too important. Maybe they like companionship and cuddles more? Two people who are not that sexual would be compatible but it definitely sounds like you and this guy are a mismatch. Forget it.

nabootheenigma · 25/05/2013 19:05

For me, if you can't feel it go in (cringe!), then I think would be a deal breaker. Clenchety clench clench.

GivesYouHell · 25/05/2013 19:07

"Small willy though, not much you can do about that. Especially when combined with ageing fanjo."

That has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever read. Still giggling!

saintmerryweather · 25/05/2013 19:16

i wouldnt for a small willy but i would get rid if they were crap in bed.

OiVaVoi · 25/05/2013 19:16

Ooh I think that would be a deal breaker for me... How is chemistry otherwise?

Original poster

ImABadGirl · 25/05/2013 19:18

I really did like this guy and yes the build up was fab, but after we failed the first time, everytime after that was very tense and he would say sorry it's not happening and I would feel very disappointed, the first few months should be humping like rabbits shouldn't it? I'm glad I'm not having to wonder whether we'll have sex or not, he's very into me though sadly it's not reciprocated

OP posts:

Katiebristol4 · 25/05/2013 19:31

Mmm!! I don't I could manage a small unskilled willy, men can be hardworking at the best of times and not being properly pleasures would be a deal breaker...for me

whitesugar · 25/05/2013 19:53

You are not being shallow, sexual compatibility is crucial. Without meaning to sound patronising or shallow myself maybe he would be better suited to someone who has a low sex drive. That way sex would not be such a deal breaker and he could find himself in a really loving relationship that works for both people. I experienced this once and it was categorically a deal breaker.

Chesntoots · 25/05/2013 20:45

I once went out with someone with a small willy, no bedroom skills and kissed like a goldfish (just opened on closed his mouth...shudder...) I say "went out", what I mean is I kissed him and it was terrible, thought the sex might make up for it, couldn't even feel it, then dumped him.
I think he knew why but I didn't tell him. Felt a bit bad but couldn't put up with a combo of all three being horrific!

DoveDovePigeon · 25/05/2013 20:45

On a similar topic. New bloke, only at the hugging and snogging stage. If I can feel his erection against my leg through 4 layers of clothes, that's a very good sign, isn't it?

whitesugar · 25/05/2013 20:48

That's a fantastic sign Dove!

DoveDovePigeon · 25/05/2013 20:54

Well they say its always the quiet ones;-)

50shadesofbrown · 25/05/2013 20:56

I would bin for smallness. Went out with (briefly) someone who literally had a Willy like a cocktail sausage. Real disappointment! And he was crap and couldn't last more than a minute...maybe we've met the same guy?

50shadesofbrown · 25/05/2013 21:00

Would like to add, it wasn't just the willy - he was also totally self absorbed. And a bit arrogant.

lollydollydrop · 25/05/2013 21:08

Oddsocksrus · 25/05/2013 21:18

Deal breaker in the house of socks

Small thin poorly educated willy,, dumped
Practically invisible acorn willy never seen again

So sad, they had great promise and it made me wonder what I was turning into but then dh came along, all sparkly and innocent

A good relationship is not all about sex, but it keeps you close and a friend is just not enough

Darkesteyes · 25/05/2013 21:37

unapologeticSat 25-May-13 19:01:39

Maybe some women are not really into sex so it wouldn't be too important. Maybe they like companionship and cuddles more?

Im not having a go but stereotypes like this permeate the myth that women should put up with crap or no sex.

AlfalfaMum · 25/05/2013 21:40

Dump on grounds of sexual incompatibility.

Small, semi-flaccid penises (I really want to write 'penii'..) are all too often owned by drunks/coke heads.

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