Between a rock and a hard place

[icepole]

At a difficult cross roads.

I live with my two dc and work full time in a job I hate and has made me ill. My dh works away and we recently bought my dad's old house. It's a wreck, plan was to do it up and move this summer. Ds is having issues at school and needs me to be able to
support him. We plan to rent the house I am in as we will loose money if we sell. If we do this I need to hand notice in soon.

My worry is dh can be awful to me sometimes and I am afraid of making myself vulnerable by giving up work. I hate the job and want to be there for the kids but don't want to end up powerless and unemployable. I feel trapped. If I leave things as they are we all suffer. Dh uses the move as a threat - says he won't let me hand my notice in for example. This behaviour makes me panic both because I want out of here and again because I am afraid I might be putting myself in a worse position.

No one to talk to about this.

God he sounds awful.
Are you supposed to be moving to where he is working, so that's why you'd have to give up your work?
To be honest if my Dh was being threatening I wouldn't move. Maybe look for other jobs where you are and stay there with the kids instead/

It's nearer his work but mainly it's near my family and my day's house, my childhood home. I want to be in that house and be free to help my Ds with his issues at school but yeah, it's problematic.

I agree with not stopping work. It doesn't seem safe or you.
Could you find another job?
Closer to where you want to be, and your family?

The area is pretty rural so nothing been coming up this last year. Staying means sending Ds back to a school that doesn't support him and me staying in a job that is making me ill. I am desperate to get out of here. I think he knows that. I also want to live in my Dad's house and be near family, on my own here. Whole thing is a mess.

Can't sleep. I keep running things in my head and all options seem crap. How did my life get to be like this