can it really take a decade to get over a divorce?

[CarolinaMoose]

there was an article in the Guardian on Saturday by a woman who said it took her 10 years before she stopped wanting her partner back.

Am beginning to think MIL is the same - her H left her for another woman 10 years ago and she still can't bear talking about him, won't refer to him by name, hates his gf even though they've never met and she isn't the one he left MIL for. She even resents us taking ds round to see his grandad - she'd prefer it if ds never saw him .

Do many people feel this way? Tbh I find the extent of her fury pretty scary - I'd hate to be that way if dp left me.

I read somewhere that forgiving the other party was the key to moving on and that forgiveness had nothing to do with whether to keep the partner or split, nothing to do with getting a warm fuzzy feeling for them. It has to do with letting go of the offence and being emotionally free to live a full life with or without the partner. If we don't, we may not be able to enter into other relationships without emotional baggage and fear, and that could really destroy it.

My parents are still pretty messed up after 25 years apart. He's remarried and she's had affairs with married men(for some form of payback) but neither of them has gotten over it. My stepmum laments to me about my dad's bitterness and I know all about my mum's.