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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Help!! Do I have ANY rights to stay in our flat after 21 years together?

26 replies

IAmMrsMiaWallace · 19/05/2013 00:37

Hello! Ok will try to keep it short. Been with partner for 21 years, not married, engaged, separated last summer as he made me so very, very unhappy, no communication, secretive ... have been staying with friends on and off ever since. Have returned to our rented flat until I can get on my feet, save money and get somewhere else. I am a freelancer so being paid is sporadic alas. Partner gone CRAZY and does not care if I am homeless. He met someone new a month after we separated! Devasted! He was my World! I have told him to move in with his new girlfriend for a few months whilst I get myself sorted, all my stuff is still in flat and I have been dealing with all bills as he has NEVER dealt with them EVER! Not sure what my rights are ... if any ... very, very worried and no family to help me ... trying to keep it together but only just ...

OP posts:
Thistledew · 19/05/2013 00:40

Whose name is on the rental agreement? Any 'right' you have to remain in the flat is solely a matter of the contract between you and your landlord.

Thistledew · 19/05/2013 00:41

I'm sorry for your situation btw. No wonder you are distraught.

Original poster
IAmMrsMiaWallace · 19/05/2013 00:47

I found the flat as it through a friend of mine and his name is on the agreement but I am sure that expired ages ago ... he pays the rent though but I am on the Council Tax bill ... I am speechless that he really does not care one bit as he says his 'new' girlfriend will not be happy ... he stays there most of the time anyway ... I am numb!

OP posts:
Original poster
IAmMrsMiaWallace · 19/05/2013 00:55

Ok night Thistledew and thanks for replying. Hopefully I will get some top tips and advice from you lovely ladies out there tomorrow ... x

OP posts:
Thistledew · 19/05/2013 01:01

I'm afraid that you don't have any rights other than anything that your ex and your landlord are willing to agree to. It doesn't matter whether the original agreement has expired or whether there is any new one. The most protection you would have would be as a tenant, but if your name was never on the agreement you do not have even that. Your landlord would have to give your ex notice and then enter a new rental agreement with you.

Maybe a new start in your own place that does not carry any memories of your ex would be best in the long run?

Original poster
IAmMrsMiaWallace · 19/05/2013 01:07

That IS what I want but I cannot do that until I have enough money for deposit and all that and to find somewhere affordable too. I cannot believe that I have no rights as his partner/common law wife, do we even say that anymore ... he made me so very unhappy I had to leave, I asked him to leave a few times as I knew he did not want to be with me anymore but he never would as that would mean having to actually do something!

OP posts:
Thistledew · 19/05/2013 01:07

Sorry- I may have understood your post. Is it your ex's name that is/was on the tenancy agreement or your friend's?

If it is the latter and neither you nor your ex have a written contract with the landlord or your friend, then it is really down to your friend how he enforces who lives in the flat. Whether he would step up and exclude your ex may well depend on whether he himself has permission to sub-let from his landlord v

Original poster
IAmMrsMiaWallace · 19/05/2013 01:11

Partners name is/was on the original agreement and that was a contract for one year and that was more than five years ago now ...

OP posts:
Thistledew · 19/05/2013 01:11

And no, you have no legal rights as a partner or common law wife. Even if you had been married you would have no 'rights' over a rented property other than as set out in a tenancy agreement.

Thistledew · 19/05/2013 01:20

I keep x-posting. If there is a written rental agreement for a short hold tenancy that expires after a fixed period of time, but occupation continues after expiry, then the tenancy transforms into a periodic tenancy, the terms of which are governed by law. It doesn't give anyone any rights beyond tenancy though, and if you were never named as a tenant in the first place and did not become one by implied consent then you acquire no right of occupation. In your situation, the best you could hope for is that there may have been an implied variation of the tenancy agreement so that you obtained status as a tenant as well, but it would not give you any greater right of occupation than your ex, and may well involve a court hearing to resolve the issues if your ex and landlord would not agree to you being treated as a tenant.

Original poster
IAmMrsMiaWallace · 19/05/2013 01:28

It was my choice to not be named as a joint tenant as we had and still have debts together and so it was to protect his credit rating so that at least one of us could get a mortgage one day!

Off to bed, or rather the sofa now to cry yet again!

OP posts:
Original poster
IAmMrsMiaWallace · 19/05/2013 01:43

I just found this information on this w/site under Living together and marriage: legal differences / Ending A Relationship / Housing / Living Together

www.adviceguide.org.uk

'However, as an unmarried partner, you can get short-term rights to stay if you apply to court. A court can also transfer a tenancy, whether it is a sole or joint tenancy.'

A glimmer of hope ...

OP posts:
RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 19/05/2013 02:54

Do you have the cash to take this to court? Wouldn't you be better using the money for a deposit on something else?

Snog · 19/05/2013 07:04

Is there nobody who could lend you a flat deposit?
Do you have savings?
Can you get another job that you will be paid for more promptly?
Casual waitress/ bar staff for events/ cleaning?

Snog · 19/05/2013 07:06

What is it that you want to do?
Do you want to stay in this flat long term?

scaevola · 19/05/2013 07:14

Basically, if your name isn't on the tenancy agreement, then yes you have nothing really, unless you have DC and agree (yourselves or via Court) between the two of you and landlord that you and they stay there.

He you started looking for a new place?

raisah · 19/05/2013 07:33

get yourself signed up with a temping agency like Brook Street (national firm & online ny friend has been with them for 5 years very good). Once you are getting some regular income move into either a studio or houseshare temporarily. You are better off cutting all financial ties with this man asap. If he has screwed you over emotionally, he will do it financially too.Do you have any loans/ shared credit cards bills? Settle any monies owing and run

raisah · 19/05/2013 07:35

posted too soon.
run away from this awful man. Get advice from the citizens advice bureau if you need to. You need to put your business head on to keep you sane these next few months.

Lavenderhoney · 19/05/2013 08:24

Do you have dc?

Find out how much you need to save for a flat. Move into a house share short term, put your stuff in cheap storage ( there are lots, look on the Internet)

Save like mad, join a temp agency, baby sit nights, bar work for tips.

Go to flat agency's and get on their books. Explain you are saving and they might have something they can offer or a sympathetic landlord. Or could a friend put you up for a few months if you pay a small rent?

Lavenderhoney · 19/05/2013 08:28

Also, shared debt. If its not you using it, ie a car, can you get your name off or sell it and pay off the debt?

Certainly look into all the debt and see what you can do. You might want to each take a bank loan seperately, pay off the shared debt equally, then you just have your loan to pay.

Noregrets78 · 19/05/2013 09:02

Might be worth trying the legal board? Sounds like there may be a glimmer of hope and seems unfair after so long together... Are there kids involved?

Cabrinha · 19/05/2013 09:19

I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm seeing it from your ex's side: it was you that ended it, you had threatened it a number of times before, and you may have appeared to have moved out - the staying with friends. It's also been him paying the rent, if I understand you correctly - you've done the admin, but his money?

If the flat is owned by YOUR friends, talk to them. If it's gone onto a periodic tenancy they only have to give 2 months notice I think - and as they're your friends, they may waive the deposit?
That could get messy if he refuses to go and they have to evict though. Probably better that you just move on.

You say you're devastated and he's your world: hold on to the fact you left him for a reason. He's not your world.

It's a kick in the teeth about the new gf, but it sounds like you two had been over a while. Again - you left him for a reason. Focus on that, and leave him to it.

I don't think it's realistic to expect him to move in with her, btw.

If you are sofa surfing and absolutely can't afford a deposit, speak to your local housing office about homelessness help.

Does he have any money? As he wants to stay in the flat, would he pay your deposit?
Even if you have some legal basis to have the tenancy transferred to your name, surely he has as much right as you to keep it? Get advice from CAB, or possibly Shelter?

Good luck - but focus on the practicalities, not him.

Original poster
IAmMrsMiaWallace · 19/05/2013 09:50

Thank you for all your comments and advice girls. I do not want to stay here and there is a reason I left as I knew it was over but he never admitted it was. He is the one that should have left! There are no DC, one of the reasons I left and now probably no chance. I should have left him years ago, I see that now. I am staying strong, focused and confident! Well, I am trying to ... again, thank you all for your wise words.
x

OP posts:
2rebecca · 19/05/2013 10:01

Why would he leave if the tenancy is in his name and he wasn't wanting the relationship to end?
It's sad the relationship is over but this is one reason living together long term with only one name on the tenancy isn't a good idea

Kundry · 19/05/2013 10:14

Unfortunately there is no such thing as a common law wife as you have found out the hard way. I hope anyone else reading this who thought there was can learn and protect themselves.

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