Remind me why drugs and gambling are so bad for a relationhip.

[superstarheartbreaker]

Even 'soft drugs' such as weed ....just so I know that it's good that it's ended

Because they turn you into a self absorbed selfish twat who cares about nothing but yourself and the habit you have to feed.

You did the right thing.

Because if you'd stayed you would only have lies and poverty to look forward to. You did the right thing.

Is it a trick question? I tripped over a bong in a bathroom at a mate's house. 24 hours in A and E. Farking stupid habit. Smelly house and he never washed his cacks.

Because you deserve to be in a relationship that is free of pain, dishonesty and unnsccesary money worries.

Because you didn't like it. That's enough rationale for anything being bad in your relationship. Doesn't matter if it's legal, illegal, socially acceptable or not. If you don't like something about a person, however trivial it may be to others, never compromise your values and standards thinking you'll get used to it in time. You'll only end up hating yourself.

You will always take second place to drugs or gambling
So it will never be a proper relationship
If you value your self esteem don't stay in a relationship which will devalue you

"I tripped over a bong in a bathroom at a mate's house. 24 hours in A and E. Farking stupid habit. Smelly house and he never washed his cacks."

:o :o

Tiny little tears are starting to roll down my face :o

The lies, selfish behaviour, debt, drugs/gambling being more important than your partner, back to lies.

bbq summer...that is brilliant!

Yes it's funny for the first three dates he paid for everything then when I said I would pay half, suddenlt I was paying for everything. Plus he must be the only mortgage advisor without a mortage. Must have been going on online polka!

Damn that online polka.... Strictly Come Dancing has a lot to answer for....

Love online polka. That took me a few seconds.

It always amazes me how easy it is to spend huge quantities of money, when all sanity and rational thinking is out the window by the spender. That does not get better. I just can't get my head around foregoing a mortgage for alcohol/poker/drugs/gadgets.

Online polka. You have definitely done the right thing OP.

My SIL plays online poker... she's pretty good and it causes no problems in their marriage as far as I know. That's the point here. It's not the action itself, it's the reaction of the OP. Whatever the bad habit is ... smoking, gambling, drugs, porn, nail-biting, drinking, gaming, ... some are going to find it OK and for others it's a 'deal breaker'. It's a question therefore of recognising your own deal breakers and having the self-respect to reject potential partners early rather than carry on with a doomed relationship against your better judgement.

Because in a relationship, sooner or later the time will come when you need him to put you first. And an addict can never do that. The addiction will always come first.