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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is there a support thread for people being driven insane by elderly alcoholic mothers?

29 replies

chihiro · 17/05/2013 09:41

And if not does anyone want to start one?

I'm sure I can't be the only person struggling with this problem.

OP posts:
Hazeleyedbaby · 20/05/2013 21:51

Chihiro your right I will never get over the disappointment of her not being capable of staying sober at such critical times.

I'm amazed that I'm not alone in having family members who excuse (fuel) this behaviour. It is easier for my brother, aunt etc to be in denial which only makes my mum believe she doesn't have a problem Hmm

I feel awful even saying this but.... I am dreading when her health deteriorates as it will fall to me to look after her Sad

Lemonies · 20/05/2013 22:01

Hazel you shouldn't feel awful for dreading her deterioration.
You don't want her to carry on down the alcopath while she refuses to acknowledge it's a problem.
For me it was a double edged sword my Mum not only lied about her drinking but also lied about any related illness.
She told everyone she had parkinsons, alzhiemers, bowel cancer and a rare blood disorder.
What she does have is gout.
Oh and cateracts!

musickeepsmesane · 21/05/2013 08:56

Hazel Do you go to doctors appointments with your mum? If the doctor is unaware of her drinking you could mention it to him/her in front of your mum. Also, if you feel a RL support group would help there may be an Al Anon near you, it is for families of drinkers. I have never been but know people it has helped.

I don't know why, but I never prepared myself for an elderly alcoholic. Considering how many decades I had already gone through, I don't know, I think part of me hoped she would run out of steam by her seventies!!!

Lemonies Lying about health has never been an issue with my parents but it does seem to be incredibly common with drinkers. Explains away the shakes I expect.

Itsallabout · 21/05/2013 09:15

My Dm is also a functioning alcoholic though it wasn't until quite recently I came to realise this.

My childhood was spent in pubs and clubs whilst Mummy dear enjoyed a sociable drink. My siblings and I often went without many basic things but Mum always found extra cash for a few bottles of alcohol.

I have never seen her drunk. She drinks from 4-5pm every day and can go through a bottle of vodka but she doesn't get drunk. She drinks to relax and is very offended and defensive if you merely mention her drinking habits.

My Step dad is an alcoholic too. He drinks from morning to night, gets aggressive, falls around and drink drives.

I have reached the point where I am past caring.

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