How realistic is it to feel 'in love' with your DH after 10+ years of marriage?

[joshandjamie]

or does it shift to 'just' love?

I am asking this on behalf of someone. Personally I feel that the 'in love' goes and the 'love' lasts. But she feels that the 'in love' (the giddy, heart thumping, romance) is vital and the fact that it hasn't spells the end of her marriage.

Is she unrealistic?

I think if you've had the heart thumping bit in the past, it may well come back. And go again. And come back again.

I consider staying married to be an achievement every day (and not just on my side - I think dh does pretty well to stick with me too). The rewards are unexpected but they do happen.

I think the heart thumping goes away with security. But you can still feel that delicious in love feeling that comes with trust, which is only enhanced by years of shared history and stories between yourselves.

To the OP who posted this thread 2 days ago and hasn't been back:

Has this someone met someone else then?

sorry - been a busy weekend hence lack of coming back. I don't know if she has met someone else but she just says she doesn't feel in love and she doesn't know if what she has is enough anymore. I think what she is craving is the passion and excitement you get when you first meet someone and that is hard to get when you know everything about each other I think.

Cherchez l'homme then.