My brother has done something really stupid and I feel sick.

[Esmummy]

I don't really know where to start to be honest and i don't know a great deal of details.
Basically, my DB has been away for the weekend with my DP on his stag weekend (DP's). My SIL called DB yesterday morning to make sure he was up and OK, ready for his flight home etc but the call came through on DB's mobile as number witheld. All i know id that DB answered his phone, no-one said anything so he said hello again and no-one said anything then he said "Sarah". Now I don't know who the hell Sarah is but it sure as hell isn't my SIL.
I know these details are bit random but this is all DP knows, DB was miserable at the airport so DP asked him what was wrong and this is what DB told him had happen, he said he didn't want to talk about it but he was in serious shit and didn't know what he was going to do.
My SIL is 32 weeks pregnant and they have been married just over a year. I just don't know what to do, I want to call my SIL to make sure she is OK, if there is anything I can do, if she wants to get away from DB for a while I would go and meet her and listen if she wanted to talk but I am not meant to know any of this.

When DP told me yesterday he asked me not to say anything until someone else told me as he doesn't want us getting involved and as we don't know exactly what has happened and what DB has done.
I don't know whether I should call or text her about something else and see if she mentions it ? I can't think of the right way to word it but I don't want SIL to think I would "side " with DB just because he is my brother because I wont, I feel absolutely disgusted at the thought of what he might have done.
Sorry this is so long, I just realy don't know what to do and am really worried about SIL :(

Oh your poor SIL, she must be in turmoil. Not a lot you can do except be there to listen if she needs you... why don't you call to say hi and see if she mentions it?

Blimey Esmummy it all sounds a bit mysterious and worrying. Has your SIL said anything to you?

"he said he didn't want to talk about it but he was in serious shit and didn't know what he was going to do"

This could be almost anything, couldn't it? Not sure what to advise but didn't want your question to go unanswered.

Thanks guys. Well that was my thoughts, whatever he has done (and my inagination is running wild at the minute) he shouldn't have done it. Even if it is a case of drunkenly giving someone his mobile number whilst he was away, I just can't believe it.

I called SIL this morning about my new mobile and we chatted about the weekend, she kept asking me if DP has told me any gossip that had gone on while they were away so get the impression she was wanted me to tell her something. I kept asking if she was OK and said she dodn't seem herself, she said she was tired and didn't sleep very well but didn't say anything about why, when I asked her she just said she couldn't get compfy so was awake alot.

She sounds really quite sad but I didn't know what else to say. I gave her lots of chances to mention it and I tried to steer the conversation towards it by saying she didn't seem herself. Maybe she just doesn't feel confortable talking to me about it. I just don't want her to feel alone. I know how my emotions where when i was pregnant with DD and that was without anything drama's like this.

Well your DB does say that no-one said anything when he answered the phone. So it's possible your SIL couldn't hear him ie. it was a bad connection. I wouldn't jumpt to the conclusion that she knows yet.

I think you've done the right thing - you phoned her and let her know you were around if she felt like chatting. She's heavily pregnant so it's likely she did have an awful night.

I wouldn't bring the actual incident up. You don't know the full story yet. I'd speak to your DB about what's going on first before deciding on a course of action.

HTH

Esmummy could you talk to your DB yourself and see if he will tell you what's happened? As you say it may be something silly rather than a full affair and while you have said you are cross with him anyway there is a great deal of difference.

Other than this I don't see what else you can do. It's very easy to interfere in a situation like this because you care about them so much, but usually it's better to stay out of it and just be ready to be there if your DB or SIL need you.

Oh I have no intention of interfeering at all. To be honest, I would rather DP hadn't told me the little snippet of info he did know.
There is no point talking to my DB, he wont talk to me, he may talk to our other brother but defo wont talk to me. I am not going to mention the incident, it has nothing to do with me and i have no intention of getting involved but i just want SIl to know that I wouldn't automatically side with DB just because he is my brother. I can completely put myself in her position and imagine how i would be feeling if this was DP.
Doesn't look particularly innocent though does it ?