Can I ask you all to tell me what you would think of this couple?

[EdgeOfSociety]

• Becomes twitchy and anxious when away from partner, even for short periods and including on the phone. Lots of looking at watch, "oo-oooh!" noises and phone call to check in.

• Goes away in a caravan for several days where they are just with one another.

• The house they live in belongs to their partner outright: although they own their own home it is rented out.

• Constantly touching: hand-holding, sitting right next to one another.

• Shows little interest in previous hobbies/interests.

• Rarely sees family or friends and when they do are twitchy and anxious as per first point.

• Has been in highly abusive relationship in the past.

Now, I am not going crazy, am I - alarm bells would be ringing?

Pressed send too soon. I also hope you're wrong.

Ouch! What's your problem, Toby?

Toby - oh dear, we haven't understood each other too well. I posted here to ask for opinions. I AM worried, as he was in a highly abusive relationship in the past and couldn't see it either. I see him so rarely that it's difficult for me to gauge the situation accurately. I'm not sure where I've said anybody is wrong, I think the only time I have corrected someone is when you said that it sounded like your own relationship and I was surprised by that but we have cleared that up.

Your post makes it sound as if I think my dad should be here every day, hanging onto my every word - I don't, but at the same time, never hearing from him, him sounding petrified and anxious on the odd occasion I am on the phone to him and his past behaviour does make me worry for him. Of course, he's a grown man and free to make his own decisions. I won't lie - it would be nice if one of those decisions would be to occasionally speak to me, visit me and his other family members, but it isn't and I can live with that. However I won't pretend I think it's healthy :)

It's not healthy.

Do you have any relationship with his partner, OP?

None! They do frequently go away with her two daughters and grandchildren, though.

I met her briefly and she was pleasant enough but no further contact has been made. This is the source of the problem really as clearly he can't bear to be apart from her, but won't have us together for some reason so therefore, I never see him.

I honestly CAN live with that before anyone accuses me of being a demanding, possessive, jealous cow. However, it's him I am a bit concerned for. If they were to split, he'd be in a very vulnerable position indeed. Of course, they might not split, but it's a sad state of affairs even so.

Gd morning Edge, I know exactly how you feel. My DF and I are/were v close. I helped him out a lot when he finally split from my mum and would and did do everything I could to see him get well again. So to now only seeing him 3/4 times a year max was v hard to start with. I also know that when/if sh*t hits the fan again, it will be me who has to help him.

I have a baby girl who hardly sees her grandad and No2 due in sept, and it is hard knowing that my children will never have that bond with their grandparents like I had with mine. But I suppose kids don't miss what they've never had. Its kind of made me think abt having more than 2 so the kids have more family that way.
I did ask DF whether it bothered him if his grandkids hardly ever saw him? He didn't really say. I also asked his GF to help DF remember the kids birthdays for cards and stuff as he is cr*p in that dept. And she did make sure there was a card and present for DD at xmas.