What am I doing wrong??

[Itsnotahoover]

A bit of a woe is me I'm afraid, but I'm feeling really shitty and can't sleep.

Since splitting with ds's father 6 years ago, I've had one long term relationship. It was a bit unconventional and very complicated due to his background etc. Anyway, after 5 years of seeing him a few times a week, he started talking about going abroad to stay with family, went on holiday for 3 weeks and didn't come back! After 6 months of no contact from him, I got the message that I'd been dumped and moved on.

I started seeing someone in January that I'd known for over a year, and who's mum I'd worked with for 12 years. He'd recently split with his wife, and we were getting on well, dating and seeing each other a couple of nights a week. Last time I saw him was 4 weeks ago, when we were laughing over who was going to tell his mum about us (she's a bit scary lol and we'd been keeping things quiet until we knew it was serious). He got up in the morning, texted me later that evening to say goodnight, then... Nothing. Not heard from him, had a text or anything. I've texted a few times just to say hope everything's ok etc, but no response. Maybe his phone broke, or maybe he lost it but 4 weeks?

So it looks like the second bloke has just done a runner! I'm feeling like I must be doing something wrong :(

How nasty of them. Gawd, it doesn't take much just to send a text! They are a cowardly pair, and you should battle on regardless, there are better blokes out there, maybe it'll be third time lucky.
Best of luck OP.

Maybe, rather than it being you doing anything wrong, these two men had something in common that made them behave the way they did. The first was 'unconventional and complicated' and, whilst I don't know what that means, it hardly screams stable long-term relationship material. He sounds like he saw your 5 years together as a bit of a glorified 'booty call' rather than anything meaningful. The second had recently split from someone and that's never a good time to be in someone's life.

So weigh up the next candidate(s) more critically perhaps. Avoid 'unconventional and complicated' in future or any whiff of 'damaged goods'. Tune in your prat radar and better luck next time. :)