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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Pregnant and in shock

17 replies

Newjobthankgod · 06/05/2013 19:09

That's all really. I just found out that the father actually is seeing someone else. I found out when she posted lots of pics of them together and flowers he sent her and stuff. She had been a facebook friend for awhile but I had no idea. Apparantly I am "full of shit" about me and him anyway, according to her. This is based on what she has been told by him.

So obviously now I will just ignore them and move on. I didn't see this coming at all.

Just needed a vent.

OP posts:

Xales · 06/05/2013 19:29

Were you still together?

How far gone are you?

Try not to give the silly little cow a thought tough as it is. Look what a fabulous BF she now has. Until he does the same to her.

You won't be so full of shit when you can prove it is his child.

Xales · 06/05/2013 19:30

Sorry I assumed you are keeping it. Apologies if that is wrong and I upset you!

Original poster

Newjobthankgod · 06/05/2013 20:13

Oh yeah keeping it. Luckily I am totally financially sound.

OP posts:

Original poster

Newjobthankgod · 06/05/2013 20:13

Oh and according to her I am also "pathetic" "psycho" etc.

OP posts:

tribpot · 06/05/2013 20:15

Not sure what she's got to do with it, really - he's the one who's been shagging both of you. As now evidenced by the fact you are pregnant.

Presumably he doesn't want to be involved; I would wave them farewell and remind him the CSA will be calling in the not-too-distant future.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Xales · 06/05/2013 20:15

Get off Facebook or remove block all contact lines between them.

Concentrate on you and the little one.

Live a good happy life while she festers in her own rancid bile.

CissyMeldrum · 06/05/2013 20:16

She is going to see his true colours,good luck to you x

OneFingerSjupesUpTheYoni · 06/05/2013 20:22

Block them, enjoy your baby and send the csa straight to him when the time comes. Men like this are utter shitebags.

Original poster

Newjobthankgod · 06/05/2013 20:24

Oh yeah they are blocked.

But she did know about me and I take issue with finding out about her the way I did. She posted pics of her and him all over our facebook . That was a mean way to do it.

But oh yeah, blocked. Blocked, blocked, blocked.

OP posts:

tribpot · 06/05/2013 20:29

For all you know she may have told him either he told you straight or she would do it in a way that was irrefutable. He then tries to worm out of it and she forces the issue.

Either way - he knew about both of you as well, this is totally on him. They both sound dreadful.

Original poster

Newjobthankgod · 07/05/2013 01:35

Oh well screw it. Will have more fun looking at baby names and prams than I will brooding over this crap.

OP posts:

Original poster

Newjobthankgod · 08/05/2013 01:08

Nope still feel like I had an emotional smackdown

OP posts:

Mosman · 08/05/2013 05:38

Well you have there's no getting away from it, how far gone are you ?

parisfernandez · 10/05/2013 15:37

I was in the exact same situation.

I was seeing a guy, fell pregnant and found out he was actually engaged to someone else, had a kid with her and also had 7 other kids to 7 other women, all of who he had nothing to do with.

I was 20 at the time, very young and very hurt. All hell broke loose on facebook, texts etc etc. I had him coming back to me telling me he loved me and was going to leave her etc. He was saying to her that he doesn't know who I am, has never met me, I'm making it up etc.

For some reason, she believed him and they stayed together.

I remember being heartbroken and so upset that he was with her and not me. He has seen my DD twice in 4 years.

Still to this day, I get hassle from her and her family. I moved away to get away from it all and im happier now but whenever I visit my old hometown it all gets brought up again. They have split up now and he takes nothing to do with any of his kids.

From experience, the only advice I would give you is to keep your head down and don't rise to any arguments or nasty comments that will be made. Ignore them and get on with your life. He will never ever change and even if he does decide to be with you, you will always wonder who else he is seeing and she will never leave you alone.

What goes around comes around and he will be left with nothing at all.

So will she hopefully.

Original poster

Newjobthankgod · 10/05/2013 17:51

Thanks. I'm starting to feel a bit better.

OP posts:

LemonPeculiarJones · 10/05/2013 22:57

Congratulations OP! On your baby to be, and on being free of those detestable fools.

sleeton · 11/05/2013 13:26

Hi Newjobthankgod congratulations on your pregnancy. I agree with other posters that you should just ignore this woman and the whole facebook thing, but did wonder whether your baby's father actually knows that you are pregnant. Have you told him?

If you haven't, then I think you should. It does sound like there is no salvageable relationship between you, but even so he might manage to be pleasant and supportive as an absent father. Still not the best situation, but would be much better than all this unpleasantness at a time when you are vulnerable.

How far along are you in your pregnancy? I think you should tell him as early as possible ... give him time to step up to the mark, iyswim.

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