Life is becoming overwhelming

[BetteDavis01]

Hi all,

I'll keep this brief. DP and I, have been together for 5 years and have two DC's, age 3 and 1.

Basically, our home of is full of stress and tension at the moment. Kids are full on. I'm a SAHM and DP has a very demanding job. I seem to feel constantly on edge and pissed off. He is quiet, withdrawn and moody. I need a job, I was happy to be a SAHM until recently but now I think it's having a detrimental effect on my well being. I want to make money, guess I'm scared its going tits up with DP.

Anyway, this eve was going ok, we were having a laugh and we then went upstairs to the bedroom. To cut a long story short, DP couldn't get an erection and I, to my shame, erupted in fury. He had now stormed out of the house and I feel awful like my head will explode with stress and just general pissed offness. Since we met, DP has suffered from erectile dysfunction and I'm really finding it difficult now.

Please help me, I need some advice. Feel like I'm cracking up here. I'm lonely and miserable.

Have you spoken to DP about how you feel re going back to work?

Has he ever tried getting any sort of treatment for the erectile dysfunction?

You need to apologise to him, obviously. Then find some calm time over the weekend to sit down with each other and start reconnecting as a couple. If ED is a recurring problem, he really should see a GP and get some help. If you need to get back to the workplace (and amen to that) talk about how important that is for you... make a plan. If you need more help in the home and/or your DP to take some time off his demanding job, that's another point. If you can't achieve this independently and can't talk to each other without it kicking off, you might benefit from couples counselling to help you communicate

I do feel for your OP. I have been in that place before, when you feel angry and pissed off at life, as looking after small children is such hard work and is expected and thrown in to women, mainly.

You need to apoligise to your DH. Explain that you were tired, pissed off and stressed and that all you want is to have a good, healthy relationship with him.

Try to understand his perspective too. He probably is working very hard, long hours, is tired, grumpy, moody and very fed up with it all too.

Unfortunatetly, unless you are very rich, or subsidised by an external agent, most normal couples go through these motions at one point or another.

Once the DC are older, it might all start to make sense again.

Good luck and I hope you can make peace - and love - again with your DH.

I think you need to apologise as soon as possible. I appreciate that you are struggling too, but he deserves, as much as you do, respect and understanding when it comes to sex.

Thank u all for replying. We had a good chat and cleared the air. Both tired and emotional last night.

I'm going to try and learn some coping strategies in order to deal with my daily feelings of stress. I need to focus on sorting my emotions out. I'm so up and down and it's not healthy. I keep getting tight chested and feeling panicky.

Again, thank you for reading and replying. x

Glad you cleared the air.

Is he seeking help for the ED? It may be fixable which might make both of you happier.

What you said about getting a job sounds like a good idea.