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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Needy Friends.

6 replies

Loulybelle · 04/05/2013 17:59

Has anyone got one and how to you put up with them.

I have known a friend for 12 years and she has quite a few control freak tendencies, the main one being her always nagging at my DD, almost to the point strangers would think she was the mum not me.

She tries to invite herself around my house, she still lives with her mum. When she comes over, she tries to dictate when we go to bed, what we watch on telly, and she'll eat my and DD's food. I nearly had to referee a fight between this friend and my closest friend, because this friend was getting so impatient about going to bed, my other friend thinks if your tired then just go to bed.

Lately shes become very needy, normally she expects me to chat online all day about mindless drivel, about how bored and tired she is. If im not online she will call me on my landline to talk, no matter how busy i might be.

Yesterday, i wasnt well, im still not, and i really didnt feel up to talking much, she got into a hissy fit over this and had a go at me, later she rung my landline, i was busy so didnt answer, she then rung my mobile again busy so i didnt answer, she then texts me saying, "Fine then dont answer your phone". Later i was online, but fell asleep with the computer still on, after it shuts down, taking me offline, 1hr later, i sign in to FB, to find another shitty message, saying "Oh thats nice, sign off without saying goodbye", when she had done the same thing to me twice that day.

Speaking to other friend, i found out that this friend has been saying im the needy one, which i dont think i am, im a single parent, if i have peace and quiet then i bloody well enjoy it, i dont wanna be talking about shit all day.

I lose my patience with her sometimes, and i tell her to reign it in, but it doesnt sink in.

I feel so bitchy ranting but i need too.

OP posts:
Loulybelle · 04/05/2013 18:11

Also started talking online with a guy, we get on, we text alot and exchanged pictures, i dont know if shes jealous, other thinks she is.

OP posts:
JohnSnowsTie · 04/05/2013 18:44

Sounds like you need some distance, perhaps even to ignore her for a bit. Don't feel obliged to answer her/be at her beck and call, especially when she's so immature in response. She'll get bored eventually.

Loulybelle · 04/05/2013 19:00

Shes just rung for a chat about nothing, i didnt answer, because im busy trying not to be sick.

OP posts:
flippinada · 04/05/2013 19:09

You don't sound bitchy at all - she sounds like a complete pain in the arse, to be honest, and a very draining sort of person.

Is this a one way sort of friendship, where you do all the giving and she does all the taking? You don't have answer that on here of course but something to mull over.

Loulybelle · 04/05/2013 19:11

She can be quite fun to be with, and i do an enjoy a girlie night with her, its sometimes i feel im just here to entertain her, forgetting i do have my own life.

OP posts:
flippinada · 04/05/2013 19:20

If you really still want to retain the friendship (your call) then don't feel bad about putting some boundaries in place.

If you can't come to the phone then you can't come to the phone - you aren't required to explain why.

She sounds like an annoying child.

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