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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How can I be more confident?

8 replies

mama2moo · 03/05/2013 13:53

Long story short - Met a guy from work who I have liked for ages. Got on really well, had a cheeky snog and then he went on holiday!

Nothing else has happened and everytime I see him in work I go bright red and just walk past him. I cant even say hi.

Help, how can I be more confident? When I have had a drink I am great fun, can chat to anyone and have a great time. Maybe I should drink before work?!

OP posts:
AttilaTheMeerkat · 03/05/2013 14:02

Just ask him how his holiday went. Be yourself and if he's not interested then at least you know where you stand then.

Are you generally this unconfident about yourself, how would you rate your own self worth and self esteem?. You are unique after all, that in itself is to be celebrated. Sounds trite but its true.

Don't use drink to make yourself relax, its really not a good idea at all to use drink like that. Alcohol is also a depressant.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/05/2013 14:05

How to be more confident.... practice! Rehearse what you want to say beforehand because that helps a lot. Walk tall rather than scuttling about apologetically and red-faced. Smile..... the act of smiling releases endorphins. Then smile at lover boy and ask him out for a coffee or something.

(Will I be killed if I say 'simples'?)

currentlyconfuseddotcom · 03/05/2013 14:06

Cogito, you would be tracked down and jumped on by a trillion meerkats

CogitoErgoSometimes · 03/05/2013 14:13

Meerkat clichés ... I hate myself... I really do.

mama2moo · 03/05/2013 21:01

I do have self confidence issues, always have. I used to be very fat and I dont think that ever left me.

Next time I see him I will just smile and say hi. I will go bright bloody red though - How can I stop that?!

OP posts:
Lweji · 03/05/2013 21:03

Yes, say hi and start asking questions, such as how was his holiday. Most men like to talk about themselves and he'll be flattered by your interest.

If he asks about you you'll know he's interested. If he doesn't he probably isn't or he's a self centrered knob. :)

CogitoErgoSometimes · 04/05/2013 07:12

'bright bloody red'

Wear good foundation... :) Pinking up is actually no big deal. Always feels worse from the inside than it looks from the outside. Some people even find it attractive.

EvaB7 · 04/05/2013 08:00

What about sending him a joke or funny link on email or something like that if you aren't the most confident? That would kind of tell him that you are still interested. In my experience most people are confident at things they are good at and not so much about things they don't feel so secure with so don't beat yourself up about it. I go red sometimes for silly things, not sure if it comes from shyness but try not to worry about it, I'm sure some men probably find it endearing.

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