His constant groping just annoys me so, so much

[getsonmynerves]

I changed my name for this.

Dh is annoying me so much because all he ever seems to do is grope me. As soon as he's anywhere near me he gropes my bum or even puts his hands between my legs. On the other hand he hardly ever just gives me a loving hug or shows me affection by touching me in a non-groping way IYSWIM. He thinks it's fun, funny and an expression of his desire for me, so I should take it as a compliment. We haven't had sex for a very long time for various reasons I don't want to go into here, but it's due to me not wanting it. So I can understand he gets frustrated, but if he acted differently maybe I would be more likely to get into the mood.
Also he touches me like that in front of the children (mainly groping my bum), who are five and three, and I find that really inappropriate, but he doesn't think it's a problem, says he saw his dad doing it to his mum and it didn't do him any harm.

Anyway, I just told him I didn't like it and he said "I'll change". I wonder if he will...
and I also wonder if there's other dh's/dp's like this?

I could have typed this (and people who know me on here will probably think I did!)

Dh has stopped after a couple of huge rows about it... the downside is though that we no longer have any sort of emotional closeness, we barely even talk to each other. To him affection = sex. To me talking, having fun, trusting each other = affection...

Dont know what to do about it atm but it is slowy killing our marriage, we are two seperate people living in the same house... so no advice, but you are not alone.

Relate do sex counselling. Perhaps it's worth a go. It would be a great opportunity to work on that side of things. I've considered it myself but dh reckons everything is absolutely fine as it is. Hmmmm!

ditto.probs started after ds1. no sex drive for me but dh was raring to go. could understand why i was not ready. Hardly had sex for two years but had the continual touching asking for sex, become vicious cycle. To him a cuddle then leads to sex. Also said this shows how much i want you etc. Did concieve DS2 who is 9 weeks old and its started again, when are you going to be ready etc.

it's a vicious cycle - he's doing it because he's frustrated - it puts you off, he gets more frustrated

perhaps if you could get him to understand that?

are you on the pill/injections? I found that killed my sex drive

I also think that once you start having sex again, you'll start to want to have it more. Could you perhaps surprise him and do the deed and see how you feel about it?

Did he ever do that before you stopped having sex? Does he ever do it in public (apart from in front of the kids)?

No he wasn't that extreme when we were having sex regularly.

He doesn't do it in public (I would kill him if he did!).

I don't know what they think they achieve by groping us, I honestly don't. Gives them some kind of a thrill or satisfaction maybe but does nothing at all for me.

At least dh doesn't seem to be the only one.
To be fair I hadn't told him before and I've told him now and maybe he will make an effort to change...[hopeful emoticon]

Judging by past experiences he will probably change for about three days and then go back to his old ways.

whenever i went out w/a man like this, i immediately broke it off w/him. that's a deal breaker to me b/c it totally puts me off! yuk!

i can see where you're coming from.

I also could of typed it. Xp was exactly like that and it didn't matter how many times I explained that I hated it and that it actually put me off sex, he still didn't get it.

FWIW I dont think tat displays of affection between their parents is inappropriate in front of the children Groping that you find annoying is something else but a kiss ot pat on the bum seems kind of nice to me :)

I could have typed this last year
I told dp that his sexual touching turned me off, I needed to get more affection, non sexual touching, kisses not leading to sex before my libido would return. Basically his crude behaviour turned me off and made it less likely he'd ever get laid again.
Honesty was the best policy he really did think that kind of touching would make me feel desired.
The night I fell asleep with him stroking and scratching my head was blissful I woke up a new woman.
He now tries that before a grope

Romance and lust rarely combine (easily).

Its a tough one. I think a bit of give and take is required he though.

He probably feels as much rejected and hurt than you feel cheap/unloved. Sometimes you need to make the first step to make changes in order for things to change for you.

my DH is exactly the same, he's like a dog permanently on heat and we have argued about it in the past. i do find i just put up with it to a certain extent and have sex when i don't want to as a 'compromise' really. there's other things i'd rather argue about like housework or money, so i choose my battles, but that's just me. if it's really bugging you, tell him

g

my dp is the same too-we have sex once a month-sorry i havent any advice

same here!
it starts off as just a "we sat on sofa watching telly together, hand on leg" kinda thing and ends up with us annoyed because he thought it was a sign i was in the Mood because i didnt move his hand straight away!

MEN!