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Original poster

Is this abit cheekey?

22 replies

myermay · 18/05/2006 15:19

Do you think this is slightly odd?

My ds2 1st birthday comin up, and we happen to be moving on the same weekend.

I've decided not to have a big party, we're ;just going to take him to the farm during the day and in afternoon/evenign we've decided to just have a small bbq at my parents house (as our new one will be a mess), just with a cake, drink etc.

There was only going to be 8 of us, as we have a small family as dp doesn't want his parents there. My Grandmother, has phoned me today and asked if she can bring a friend with her, as she's just invited her friend down over that weekend. I'm not anti social at all, but i really wanted it to just be close family, everyone to feel relaxed and comfortable etc and i just feel that if she brings this friend who we don't know then it'll all be a bit odd as people will be making more of an effort to include this lady.

I said yes, to my nan, as i felt abit put on the spot, but if i'm honest i don't really want this lady coming. If it was a big party then it'd be easier, or if we knew her well but there won't be many of us and my dp & my sisters dp find it difficult to talk to people they don't know. I just can't be arsed with everyone having to make too much effort iykwim

I get sick of trying to please people, my nan said that she won't come otherwise as she can't leave this lady alone for a few hours. But it is our sons bday and surely it's up to us how we celebrate it and who with.

Am i just being really petty? does anyone have any suggestions please? thanks

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 18/05/2006 15:20

It wouldn't bother me personally. It's just another person and it's only a laid-back gathering, not a wedding w/a steep price/head.

Think I'd just roll w/it.

suzywong · 18/05/2006 15:22

She's an old lady , she won't be any trouble, your ds may even get a fiver and a bag of Werthers out of it, like expat says chill out

jellyjelly · 18/05/2006 15:22

I would just let her come, i understand why but i am sure your nan wouldnt have asked them to come down had they know or thought it would bother you.

Kathy1972 · 18/05/2006 15:22

TBH I do think you're being a bit petty. You can't expect your grandma to leave her friend at home, and you also can't expect her to cancel her friend's visit, so just go with the flow - you never know, you might like her

katierocket · 18/05/2006 15:24

ah, I feel all protective of your nan's friend! Let her come.

nailpolish · 18/05/2006 15:24

ach dont worry

just tell her where the toilet is and give her a bit cake and she'll not bother you

as said earlier you might get 50p for ds's bankie

fireflyfairy2 · 18/05/2006 15:33

She'll probably be tone deaf and sit with a dumb grin on her face all afternoon Well, either that or ask which room the TV is in and sit with that up full blast as well as have the subtitles on Can you tell I spend a lot of time round elderly ladies?

Original poster

myermay · 18/05/2006 15:33

ok thanks all

OP posts:

Original poster

myermay · 18/05/2006 15:39

Her friend is in her 50's so she's not really an oldy, , i think i was just worrying about everyone else really

OP posts:

Roobie · 18/05/2006 15:39

I'm sure your Gran will take the lead in ensuring that her friend is not left out - so probably won't be too much effort involved on your part. I understand about not being arsed to make polite conversation with strangers but as said, your Gran can't exactly leave her at home.

katierocket · 18/05/2006 15:39

Worrying about everyone else in what sense?

TheLadyVanishes · 18/05/2006 15:46

let the old go, would be awful if she had to sit on her own whilst you were out celebrating. You will all have a great time i'm sure

wannaBe1974 · 18/05/2006 16:49

I do think this is a bit petty tbh. agree with expat, it's only a small gathering, not a formal event, and really if your dp and your sister's dp find it hard to talk to people they don't know then they don't have to talk to her. At least your gran had the courtesey to ask if she could bring this friend, I know some who would just bring the friend anyway.

And I know it's your DS' day, but tbh he's only 1 and isn't going to care if there's a a lady there he's never seen before. just chill out :)

nightowl · 18/05/2006 16:53

well it would be a bit ignorant of your gran to invite a friend down and then bugger off out and leave her, its nice that she asked you first though. i wouldnt have a problem with it at all

UglySister · 18/05/2006 18:47

Myermay, I completely understand where you´re coming from and don´t think you´re petty at all. It´s just a shame you didn´t say no to your nan straightaway.

Original poster

myermay · 18/05/2006 19:14

thanks uglysister, it's not that i don't like the lady etc etc it was just that i wanted it to be really laid back and comfortable, you know, if someone wanted to burp or swear away from the kids then we could. But obviously we will have to watch our P&our Q's with someone there who we're not familiar with. I just wanted it exactly how i'd planned it, as someone always seems to throw a spanner in the works and i just for once want to be selfish and do it exactly how I want to do it.

Thanks all for the input

OP posts:

Xavielli · 18/05/2006 19:44

TBH if its your babies 1st birthday you'll be too concerned with trying to stop them eating worms to even notice she is there.

It sounds as though (not making any REAL presumptions here, can't tell correct tone/implications of posts on a message board all the time!) some of you might be slightly insecure, be strong in yourself and swear and fart at your leisure... I would.... I bet she is a champion tooter anyway!!

zippy539 · 18/05/2006 19:56

myermay - I see where you're coming from. It's going to be a stressful time with the move and you just want to be able to relax and enjoy the party without any (real or perceived) stress.

TBH I think it'll be fine. I bet your Grandmother's friend will be happy to blend into the background and (if she's the cheery sort) might even liven things up a bit or do a bit of ad-hoc child care so you can relax. She's not really in a position to object to burping or swearing cause it's your 'do' - so burp and swear all you like and leave your Nan to look after 'her' guest.

Could it be that you are totally stressed out about the move/birthday and this is the straw breaking the camel's back? It's exactly the sort of thing which would send me over the edge in the same situation (which I'll be in myself when we move/have dd's birthday in six weeks time) but honestly, it'll be fine. :)

frumpygrumpy · 18/05/2006 20:28

myermay, speaking as an antisocial old cowpat, I get it honey. My 2 grans are in their 80s though and one of them I love to bits. If she wanted to bring a pal (and she doesn't have any left alive i'd tolerate it no matter how hard but thats because I love her so much. If the other wanted to bring someone I'd feel irritated because she has tons of pals and plenty mobility (and attitude) for an oldy. So I'm waffling a lot of shite really. Go with the flow. If its tolerable, do it. If its intolerable, you're going to have to find a way to politely say that. Good luck with it all including the move.

Original poster

myermay · 18/05/2006 20:47

ah thanks everyone. I've got over it now though! i'm just going to get on with it. I've met her once or twice and she's fine really. I've stopped fretting and we're going to have a fab time. I'm going to get a few bottles of pimms, so we'll all be happy

Zippy, i think you're right, i am really stressed out with the move. Also last year i had a naming type party for my boys instead of a christening, which was a fab day. however it's slightly overshadowed as dp mother was a total bitch to us that day. So i guess i'm just a bit touchy about parties for them, someone always seems to poke their nose in or do something to put our backs up. I really wanted his birthday to be just as i had planned it, and i suppose it's put my nose out place with some one adding to my plans!

Anyway, it'll all be fine & not letting something silly spoil his special day.

thanks all

OP posts:

Blu · 18/05/2006 20:58

I would feel a bit miffed-ish in advance, but then when it happened it would be fine. Your parents will make sure all is ok, all you need to do is relax and be proud. Pimms sounds like the answer! Hope it all goes really well.

Original poster

myermay · 18/05/2006 21:57

thanks blu, i think that's what it is really. Work myself into a bit of a tizz about it and i know i'll be fine on the day! just thought it was a bit cheeky, i wouldn't invite someone to someone elses party if they didn't know anyone

OP posts:

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