Am i wrong????????????.............................

[amihorriblywrong]

Am so v v sorry for name change but i have too many rl friends that read and do not want them to find out
I have been with my dp for just over a year although have known him for eight or so years. I thought he loved me unconditionally but was wrong. I fell pg accidentally and was told in no uncertain terms that if i continued with the pg then he would have nothing to do with me. Already having two children under the age of two i didnt have much of a choice and am very and ashamed that i went through with it. Today is the anniversary. Please don't think i want sympathy that is not why i am posting. I have started to see a very old friend that i have not seen for ten years or so. And he told me today that he has loved me since i left him ten years ago. I'm no fool by a long shot, but have started to feel things that i have never felt with anyone. This man isnt trying to force a relationship or even a fling onto me, but i feel like a teenager all over again. I thought i loved dp but today has bought back so many memories for me, and im wondering can you really love someone but hate them at the same time? At this point in time i just want to pack up and leave! and i am so scared. Also dp doesnt even remember the date, he asked what was wrong and i asked him do you really not know? his reply 'oh is it your time of the month' !!!!!!!! Sorry to babble but i need to get this off my chest So am i just to make a huge mistake if i walk away? and my hormones messing around. Or do i have a good point wanting to leave?

mmmmm- tough one.
i think the thing is , is that there is nothing more attractive than being found attractive iyswim? would you have feelings for this chap if he hadn't declared himself?

yes he has always been in the back of my mind iyswim i just never thought anything would ever come of it

sounds to me like there is an unresolved issue over your termination, that you (completely understandably in my opinion) still have resentment anger and grief over and until that is addressed with your DP you are going to harbour these feelings of anger and hate and be susceptible to other advances. Against a backdrop of that kind of undiscussed resentment, it would be difficult to make a reasoned decision about whether you should either accept, reciprocate or act on the attention from the other guy.....

Tell your partner it's the anniversary and have a proper chat. Don't throw away a relationship with the father of your children because someone has flattered you.
Sorry to be blunt. I know it's hard when you're in it and very easy on the outside... but I think you owe it to your child...

bluejelly he isnt my boys dad. And no i don't mind bluntness
I did try to talk to him last night and said the reason im so upset is beacuse of waht i done this time last year..... His answer? 'well whats done is done!'

People have different ways of coping with grief.

I think you should try to work on your relationship with your partner, rather than jumping to someone new. Even though he's not your kids' dad, it would still be hard on them to go through another change so soon.

(And if you do leave your partner, please don't get together with the new bloke right away ...)

I have no intention to go with this new guy at all. Although i admit as a compliment it is a pretty good one
My children will always be my number one priority, and that will never change. I just hate the way i feel right now. Someone i thought i would spend the rest of my life with, and i am struggling to stay in the same room at the moment

I just wanted to say at the end of the day its your life and you cannot live it for others.
It will no doubt be unsettling for your boys if you leave, but if you are not happy...
I left my x just over 4 years ago now. There was nothing really wrong with him... ultimately we just weren't right for each other... and the way both our lives have grown since the split I know it was best.
So many people said to me 'but you're married... you should work at it' etc...
Thank god to the one person who said its okay to go...
I would suggest spending some time apart. You could maybe do it without him knowing why... can you stay with a friend for a week or so? Tell DP you're just visiting
Just my own ramblings... but I don't easily forgive. I know it's a fault in my personality but it's how I am.

is it a little difficult to just leave as ds1 is in nursery and there isnt really anywhere near for me to stay. The last thin gi want is to disrupt there lives anymore, and having them sleep in a different house I own everything in my house but dp pays the rent ( i pay bills) def could not afford it on my own but neither could he.