Groups/clubs/activities - how to join in conversations the first time you go. Any tricks or tips?

[BellaWilson]

DCs are all grown up and I'm getting out into the world again on my own and considering joining some community groups/activities/clubs. Trouble is I find it really difficult to talk with people who are already in established groups and I can't keep the conversation going with anyone who talks to me. I can see their eyes glaze over with boredom, and they quickly find an excuse to move on. All I can think of is asking them questions, which works for a while, but then gets silly, like I'm interviewing them.

I'm not totally socially inadequate, just take a while to relax with people and sometimes feels rather inferior if they speak better than me or are very confident.

I so much want to get involved and make some friends. Any tricks or tips you can offer?

If you join an existing group it's pretty easy because you've automatically got something in common. I joined a community music project a few years ago and we talk about... music :) Say to the sax player 'nice solo' and you've got a pal for life. Asking questions isn't a bad start but you're allowed to talk about yourself as well. Persevere.

Another good conversation-starter is to pick some controversial/funny/interesting news/sports event. Lob .... 'they've arrested Rolf Harris, is nothing sacred?' or 'Maggie's funeral went well didn't it?'... into the group and (unless everyone is pathologically introverted) you're going to spark at least a few opinions. Check out the AIBU board for inspiration.