Thinking of dating again..

[Poohbearandpiglet]

It may be daft to ask when is a good time to start as some people would be ready straight away, some may take much more than a year after a break up before feeling ok about dating..

My issue is I feel ready; I'm much happier in myself and excited about the possibility of meeting new people..even if it doesn't go anywhere. But I do feel a bit guilty..it's been 6 months since he left, but xP is a very hands on dad and sees DC nearly every weekend, both days. They adore him and I'm in no way looking for another father for them. I would also be incredibly cautious and very reticent about introducing anyone new to them for a while.

I suppose that's it; I feel guilty because I'd be doing it purely 100% for my needs...and since having DC, that feels a little odd. But I would blimmin' love a bit of male company and I'm pretty open minded to things developing.
Another thing is I feel like xP is still my best friend & he says the same about me. We always laugh about how much we love/fancy/like each other but drive each other crazy and can't be together. I'd hate to be unfair on a new person..but then I have been looking back to the past for quite a while now & want to move on.

Sorry for the long dreary post , any experiences/advice would be lovely

NO advice I'm afraid Poohbear. I'm thinking this one through myself as I've recently separated from my h, after a long and really grim time of the marriage slowly dying, and I've met someone who I really like and would like things to develop with.

Your xP sounds a lot nicer than mine, though. :) Any prospective bloke woudn't be even slightly threatened by my realationship with X.

Thanks for your reply Sense, it's hard isn't it...hey - good luck with the new person

xP is lovely..can be bloody hard work though (I'm sure he says the same about me!) and the arguments were fierce..not good at all for DC but thankfully no more now.

This might be a completely naive question, but when you say that you're ready to date again, what do you mean - are you gong to get friends to set you up on dates, ask people out yourself, join a dating agency - how does this thing work? I have no idea and the thought of 'dating' terrifies me...

Well..I was actually thinking about dipping my toe in by going OL. I know it can be a bit of a minefield though (done it before!). I don't know, I don't feel that comfortable asking friends to set me up, though meeting people through friends would be a good way of starting to date.

Yep - it's a bit terrifying for me too! How about the person you like? How did you meet them? (if you don't mind me asking.. )

I've known this person as part of a group of friends for the last couple of years. I think I'm kidding myself, though, that anything will happen. What is OL dating like? I know two long-term happily married couples who met OL and are very good adverts for OL dating. Maybe the fact that I find the thought so scary means I'm not ready yet?

Sounds nice and a bonus you've known them for a while and through friends, but why kidding yourself? they'd probably jump at the chance to get to know you better!

Well, I know some people don't get on with OL dating but I quite like it (met xP online!!!) and it suits my personality as I'm initially quite shy talking to men romantically, you know not knowing if they're interested or single, pretty awful at reading signals to be honest! so with OL dating it gives you a head start and cuts out a little of that.

Of course you get some not so nice people on there, but you can quite quickly weed them out & I think it's well worth going for one of the better sites ; eharmony for instance, I've heard horror stories, but they tend to be about the not as nice sites such as POF. Match can be a bit hit and miss apparently. Not that I'm an expert or a serial dater or anything! .

But you might not need to go OL anyway..