AIBU or a bit precious?

[Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme]

So I knew dh was a keen fisherman when I met him.

He does go a lot. And when he's home he's looking at fish his mates have caught on Facebook, or getting fishing stuff ready, or making baits up, etc.

So AIBU to expect him to stay at home and spend some time with me and the dc's when he gets a few days off before he starts a huge new contract and won't be home much?

Instead of which he spent three days fishing. Came home the day before he went to work.

AIBU? Or is he taking the piss now? I think I'm used to being second best to a hobby but I don't want the dc's growing up thinking they're second best too.

I have tried to explain how I feel. I know he's always fished but surely now we've got children he can see that his hobby is not the priority anymore?

I think I'm past caring for myself but its not fair on them. We could have done something together but instead he chose to piss off by himself.

You're not being precious or at all unreasonable. Your husband sounds selfish to the core.

But you also sound passive-aggressive and non-assertive. He knew you were bluffing about becoming single parents and so he played you very well indeed. But when couples start those sorts of games, contempt has set in and unless there's an almighty shake-up, it's game over. It's the same with the porn. He knows you'll complain, he knows he has to say he'll stop but of course he's got no intention of doing so because regardless of how selfish he is, you will stay with him, putting up with ever more selfishness.

Go back to work if you can, but stop thinking your salary will pay for the childcare. This should be shared, or should come out of the family pot.

If you got more financial independence and spent time with other people, I think you'd realise that you're on a hiding to nothing with this dreary man and that life would be much better with someone else or on your own.