Should I even bother explaining

[ItsYoniYappy]

So I have had this diagnosis since October.

PTSD

When I was diagnosed with GAD (generliased anxiety disorder) I didn't believe it as even though I was anxious I wasn't anxious about everything.

So why do I believe this? Because I live it everyday. I would love to move on get a job and forget my bastard of an XH, I would love to sleep without having to take pills every night, I would love to be able to 'nap' now and then, I would love to be able to chill out and go out and enjoy the wasted years on EX but I cannot because my head is wasted with PTSD.

My Mum in particular doesn't believe I am unwell. She tells me weekly to 'give myself a shake' followed by:

Why you?
Your Grandad had depression and was never like you
X split with her exH and isn't like you
You need to stop thinking about you and give yourself a bloody shake and live in the real world

No-one unless they have experiences it knows how debilitating this is, I would stay in forever if I could. Tbh I would do something with myself if it were not for the DC, then I think they may be better off without me here. I have no friends, my parents think I 'pretend to be depressed' and my life is shit.

OK I do what I want when I want but that's just it, now I can what I want when I want my head is too messed with anxiety to do so, even my DS1 is a bloody trigger now with his loud voice and they way he shuts doors (slams) and shouts at the dog.

Should I just give up trying to explain myself to my Mum? She blames me for my DC being unwell as I stayed with XH, and now she blames me for making their life shit as I am 'pretending to have PTSD'

Personally I'd give up talking to your mum altogether if she's so insensitive. She can't be helping you if she's so critical. It sounds like you've been to hell and back and the very least she could do is believe the diagnosis of a trained medical professional.
I hope things start to get easier for you now you have a diagnosis and, presumably, a treatment plan?

My mum was like this when I had PND ("Well I don't know what you've got to be depressed about, you've got an easy baby", "When I was depressed I had a reason to be, I've no idea why you're depressed." ) and she had the bloody cheek to wonder why I hadn't told her for so long

You know what though, that's her problem. It's her issues that stop her being supportive, not yours. I'd take some time out from her or at least tell her to STFU if she has nothing nice to say.

Anxiety & ptsd are really crap but it will get better.

Thanks, she is very insensitive, I did tell her last year she was lacking in empathy and she admitted she is/was, then asked if she could come and see me once per week (she lives 2 mins away) this came to nothing as I moved house so she ended up being a really good help wit packing etc.

Tbh she was popping in almost everyday just to check on how we were but apparently I said 'something' so she stopped that (she told me today she cannot remember what I said)

Thanks I think I will give up on here/them (family) and go it alone.

I just don't understand how they could think I would want this, but tbh DS2 mentioned his counselling and my Dad want into a rant about how he was counselled everyday in his childhood (late 60's).

Sorry, thanks again