just found out dp has been phoning sex chat lines

[physicalysick]

AOL just phoned to say if i knew premium rate numbers had been dialled, replied no and they told me to look on the internet for my online phone bill and there it is 4 calls made early hours monday morning tallying up to £30.

thought i knew what kind of number they were and phoned one a recorded message came on in a womans husky voice so i put the phone down.

phoned dp and shouted abuse down the phone to him and he said he was put on hold and didnt speack to anyone that he knew he had made a mistake phoning but he was that angry that we had had an argument hours before he just felt like doing it

so i have been crying,physicaly sick and considering chucking him out, i feel as if i have been cheated on there was me and ds asleep upstairs and their is him on the phone down here to some slag, dont know weather to belaeve him that he didnt get through, he just seems really sleazy,greasy and pervy now
sorry about spelling cant see much through teary eyes

take a deep breath and try to calm down (easier said than done i know especially when you are seeing red) is this the first time he's done this and if so don't do anything you might regret. I think you both need to sit down and talk things thro, it may well be it was a one off and he did it thro anger and if thats the case its not worth chucking your relationship down the swanny for is it. I would be really angry if i found out my dh had done that and there would be some major making up to do

Sorry to hear this honey. I agree with shellybelly, this needs time to feel better and quite a bit of chatting. On the plus side, he admitted it and didn't lie, he agreed it was a mistake, he explained why he did it.

You are feeling shocked and your reactions are perfectly natural (I was physically sick when I had a show and realised I was about to go into labour the first time). Make lots of cups of tea, write off the day to allow yourself to feel teary. Plan how you'll handle this tonight. You'll get more out of him/your relationship if you can be on his side and try to understand.

It will feel like you've been cheated on (a friend of mine felt like that when her DH went to a lap dancing place on his stag night) but remember he didn't really cheat on you. Allow him a mistake and talk so that you don't get to this place again.

Tonight: a take away (so no pressure on cooking/cleaning just talk time) and a bottle of wine to show you can be grown up about this and expect the same of him.

Best of luck.

BTW, if you talk tonight and get through feeling on the right track again, I'd move on quickly and don't mention it ever again.

good post fg

Thanks bluejelly, been in similar and learned from it.

a couple of months ago we had an argument and then made up couple of weeks later i go to get a number off his mobile he snatched it away and said he didnt want me to see but when we had that argument he downloaded a porn photo on his mobile then he erased it after that.

we have sky telly and on the last bill was a film from the adult box office i confronted him and he said he pressed the order button by accident.

and now this i just really feel disgusted, i feel that if we have another argument he will do the same again, also soon he will be learning to drive and now im thinking what if we argue and he goes in the car what will he do then curb crawl????

not wanting to stir things up here but you cannot press a button by accident on sky box office (i know this coz we have got sky and dh and i decided to watch a film one night, won't say what one ) anyway you have to use your pin number to be able to watch these films.

frumpy is right, a glass of wine to chill and discuss this like adults

I think finding a man who never looks at porn is a rareity nowadays. I can see chatlines are a step further along that road but I really wouldn't be bothered if my dp was buying the odd 'adult' film. But everyone is different I guess...

I think you're really needing to have a heart to heart with him to find out if there is a problem in your relationship that needs fixed or if he just enjoys a little bit of porn.

I agree its worrying to look further down the line but it might never get to that. Your DP enjoying porn does not mean he'd ever take it further. Also, if you go gently and try not to get too annoyed you're more likely to get a straight and honest answer. This would also prevent driving it 'underground' where he tried to access films etc without you knowing. Try not to give him something to rebel against. (I'd say black is white if I felt pushed into a corner.)

Best of luck tonight, I hope you get some answers you can build on. Let us know how it goes x.

I think I'd be just as angry, I hope you get things sorted out.

I was upset that my dh went to a lap dancing place on his stag night (same as fg's friend) especially as I'd asked him not to!