Send a message or go to bed?

[GilmoursPillow]

DH is working away, as he frequently does. We've not actually "spoken" since Saturday.
There have been a few FB PMs, mostly instigated by me, but nothing else.

He's not great at communication when he's away anyway so the not physically speaking isn't too much of an issue but I am starting to feel as if I'm bottom of the pile. I sent him a message 24 hours ago to say I was goign to bed soon and he replied to say he was having a drink with a couple of guys. I said I'd be heading out in the morning so probably wouldn't catch him before I went (I'm 3 hours ahead of him). REad, no reply.
Sent him a message when I got home 6.5 hours ago. Read an hour later, no reply.

I assume he's ok but would like to hear from him anyway. I always sned him a message and wait to see if he's at least read it.

I'm tired and in a shitty mood anyway and I can't decide whether to think fuck you, if you can't be arsed, nor can i, and go to bed, or whether that's childish.

My DD said to me last week that she was a bit miffed that her boyfriend had not contacted her very much on the previous two days. He was working in a different country in a remote area. All this texting and communicating every five minutes is a recent thing. When I was younger we didn't even have a phone in the house, you made your arrangements before you left each other. Even now when I go away, I don't text or phone all that often, I just can't be bothered, to be honest I just don't feel the need. He could be busy or working. I told her to give her boyfriend a break and when she thought about it agreed with me.

To be fair I can agree with you deste. But we are talking about a man with kids here and a wife at home. Totally different.

He hates travelling and does it all the time so he doesnt communicate with you when he does?

Not quite sure how to read that, CP. Are you suggesting he goes away SO he doesn't have to communicate with me? If you are, then that's ridiculous.

The reason he travels so much, and I said so, is for work. He doesn't get to dictate where and when he travels, that would be his company and the clients.

He IS trying to make it better, but due to our circumstances, which are irrelevant to this thread (being outside either of our home countries for a start) he can't just quit.

He has one point that pisses me off but many, many great points. That one point doesn't make him a bad man and would be a ridiculous reason to walk away, if that's what you want to suggest.

I'm going to stand up for the minimal communicators...between me and my dh I am the one that texts/calls/emails far less when we are apart. I don't equate this kind of communication with love/caring. I'm not saying that is right, but that's how it feels to me. It was only when my dh made it clear on one particular occasion that he was upset I hadn't got in touch that i realised it meant a lot more to him than me. I would recommend to anyone in a relationship with someone like me to either make it clear what level of comms you'd like ever day so that they understand your needs or accept that texts/calls/emails aren't high on their list of priorities but that doesn't mean they don't love and miss you. If communication in your relationship as a whole is bad then that is a bigger issue. Minimal contact when away from home is one thing, minimal comms/care at home is inexcusable.