I think I should leave my husband. It's such a long story but i'll start from the beginning. We met in school and we have been with each other since then. That was 8 years ago. At such a young age I became obsessed with him. Nothing else was important. Even when he was playing me and another girl against each other I was obsessed. I wanted to be with him...Eventually I "got" him. He treated me badly. He would lie to me about where he was and just not give a damn about me. We were on and off. He went on holiays with his friends and i'd find out that he'd been cheating while he was there. One example is when he went abroad, met a girl and when he came back he would say he was going to visit a friend in uni 3 hours drive but I found out he was going to see her...Another time he met a girl abroad and one day he left his emails open and she was sending him messages like "i miss you, remember our night at the beach" I obviously broke up with him after each time but it didnt last long and I was again chasing him OBSESSED with him. My parents did not like him and the way he treated me. They were there to support me but I didn't care. I just wanted him! Then at 18 I get pregnant to him! We moved in together and rented a house. He did nothing to help around the house and he still went out with his friends. He used to lie to me. I found text messages on his phone. A conversation with his friend about making an excuse so he can go and meet some girls he knows. He was going to say he had to work away! Our beautiful daughter was born 4 months after moving out and he was ok for a couple of weeks but then the lying started again and I finally said to him that I need to leave and go back to live with my mum and dad. My family were supportive they helped me I know my mum and dad and sister and brother are there for me. I said I would NEVER go back to him. but after only 11 weeks there I was looking at wedding rings with him and arranging a wedding! I stayed with my mum for about 9 months. He was ok during this time. I had no problems.... I thought he had changed! We bought our first house together and we got married a few months later abroad...All our friends and family were there. It was great... Then I got pregnant again. He started to go back to his old self. He was still going out at weekends rolling in at 3-4am. All of this time being verbally abusive...My son was then born. and I was made redundant in work so I couldnt return. This did suit me for a while though as it was nice to spend the time with my kids. However, things got worse between me and my husband. He resented that I don't work. and now I'm going to start talking about what life is like now and what it has been like for the past 2 years....He doesnt do anything round the house. All he does is play his ps3 watch football or play football. Nothing else is important. He doesnt wash a dish. He just doesn't do anything. If I ask him to anything he shouts at me. He tells me I am lazy and sit at home and vegetate all day while he is at work. He swears at me. He calls me a c*t b**h cow, git everything you can think of. He humiliates me in front of his family members family members by putting me down and telling them things like i don't get food in for him and I don't make him his tea but that is NOT the case. An outright lie. I make sure there is food in all the time. I do make his tea but all he wants to do is order takeaways. In-fact there have been time when I have made food for him and he has come in and said he doesn't want it and he is ordering pizza! He works 4 days in 4 days off. During those 4 days he doesn't do anything. He invites his friend round to play on his ps3 while I run around after the kids. Even when they are ill and I need extra help he will still do his own thing. Another thing is he hates the way I eat. When we are sitting watching tv at night i literally have to ask permission or have to eat it in the other room because he doesn't like it if I make a noise. Or not even if I make a noise, if it sip too many times in a row. hE SAYS HES LIKE THAT WITH EVERYONE BUT EVEN IF HE IS, HE CAN CONTROL HIS ANGER AROUND THEM BUT NOT WITH ME. We recently bought a puppy and he is saying i'm neurotic because I am trying to train him and he needs to be watched constantly in case he has accidents. He hates standing outside with him for 10 mins while he has a poo. Would rather just lock him in the room where he is playing his ps3 and shout at him if he does his business anywhere. The list goes on. I havent gone into detail about specific arguments as i would be here all day. We argure constantly because he cannot just do a simple thing for me. I dont ask him to do much either. I take care of everything. the cleaning the shopping the DIY! He does do some but only when we've had an argument over it..When I say argument i mean i ask him to do something and he starts saying i should do it cos he works and that i do nothing... then i obviously start defending myself. I take care of all the finances which I am rubbish at. We are in a lot of debt. I have begged him to help me by taking some of the burden but he refuses and says Its my job. I look after the kids he does help out sometimes but not enough. The other night he went out and I went to bed because I was exhausted. When he came in he was verbally abusive saying I should come down and watch tv with him... Thats when I told him iv had enough and I cant go on like this. He started saying he will try to be less horrible and do the little things I ask of him without a fight. That lasted 24 hours and here I am again after another kickoff. Iv tried to tell him so many times he always says he'll change. He expects me to be affectionate but I just don't want to be. He will talk to me like a dog but then expect me to be all over him. To be honest when he is being nice to me I do tend to forget how he treats me and act like everything's normal but he is only nice to me when it suits him. I cant take this anymore... I'm depressed... When I go home to my house I feel a horrible shadow come over me. I'm not motivated to do anything. He puts me down all the time... Like im useless. I don't even think I like him anymore. I used to just take a lot of the rubbish from him when he was younger but for say about the past 6 months I have began to hate him. I don;t care about him. I just want to get away from him. We are always shouting and a lot of the time infront of the kids. I am snapping at my kids all the time. Everyone I know thinks i'm a laid back person. When I have spoken to a couple of friends people say they wouldn't last a day in my house and that I am very calm about it. The truth is i'm not calm in my house. I become stressed and I feel like im going to explode. I have visions of smashing everything up... When I am ANYWHERE else I do not feel like that. When im at home with my family and my kids I'm fine... Can anyone tell me. Is this a normal relationship? My husband tells me that all relationships are like this. He also says that other people his age are going out all the time going on holiday etc. but he did that all when he was young. hes been away 5 times with his mates. He used to go out every weekend till 4am. I have done nothing like that. I have wasted my teens on him. I love my children and I think they are the only good thing that has come from this relationship.....He says that I get all this from my mum and dad and that they infest me with bad thoughts. but the thing is, I come from a happy family. I have NEVER witnessed an argument between my mum and dad. I wish he was like my dad but he says my dad is weak and under the thumb and he will never be like him... What have I done with my life... I just want to go home...