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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ticking the "like" box just doesn't feel enough to me! What do you think?

4 replies

Tiggs2 · 19/04/2013 11:11

Morning everyone, I came here in March to discuss the problems I had with my Best friend, who seemed to have forgotten me! I'm not too sure if my old Thread will show but basically last year my BF seemed to distance herself, not texting or keeping in regular touch like we used too and generally not being interested in what was going on in my life, or offering any support. It hurt most when she forgot all our Birthdays this year, something I have never done. Anyway things have carried on pretty much the same way since, but I really thought that on Mothers day that I would get a text, since I lost my Mum a couple of years ago. No message came, just a "like" ticked on FB, on a post that I had written for a late friends young family.

The same thing happened this week, it was the 3rd Anniversary of my Dad passing away and I put a tribute on FB for him. I always find this difficult and feel very sad around this time but it was nice to have some support and messages from people on FB.

Do any of you think that its ok for my closest friend to just put a "like" on that status, and then nothing else, or should she at least have put a little message on there, or text me to see if I was ok?
I am starting to feel that maybe she thinks that its ok to just "like" the odd status that I put on there, and maybe she feels that thats enough to justify keeping in contact?

I am starting to feel very hurt and a little angry, after all I always keep in touch especially when any of my friends family are ill or going through a rough time. Her daughter has just split from her first serious boyfriend, and I have been messaging her and commenting on her FB status most days, as she has been going on there a lot.
Am I wrong to be feeling annoyed over the lack of contact, and am I wrong to think that "liking" my status isn't really enough? :-(

OP posts:
AMumInScotland · 19/04/2013 11:32

By what definition is she your "closest" friend? Do you see her a lot in person apart from what you've posted here? Because what you've described sounds like a casual aquaintance rather than a friend. Unless you see and speak to her a lot, separate from FB/texts then I'd conclude that she has moved on from your friendship, no matter how you still feel about it.

gertrudestein · 19/04/2013 11:33

Is there something else going on in her life? I would try not to take FB too personally - different people use it in different ways and there's no real etiquette about it.

in your position, i'd put FB to one side and think about whether or not my friend had been a friend in real life.

Tiggs2 · 19/04/2013 13:18

We have been close friends for 20 years and though we did not see each other week, we still kept in touch all the time and generally knew what was happening in each others lives. I usually know if anything is going on in her life and I offer support, but that same support doesn't seem to be returned anymore, and I feel let down. I mentioned the FB thing because I'm convinced that she is thinking that thats enough to show me her friendship, but am I wrong to say its not? xx

OP posts:
Jaynebxl · 21/04/2013 04:14

In my experience friendships have seasons, and there's nothing wrong with that. She may have been your BF in the past but that doesn't mean she always will be, and that's not the end of the world. How often do you see each other? I would base things more on how you get along when you are together than how she responds on fb, especially if she has a lot going on.

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