DV issues - I prefer to not get involved but should I

[Operafan]

Local mother is pretty upfront about how volatile her husband can be. She has been open about the fact that he pushes her about but maintained it was "just" pushing and not hitting. I have heard from someone else that recently he bruised her throat so badly she couldnt go out for a couple of weeks (suspect this is not the first time as I have wondered sometimes when she has worn a polo neck jumper in the summer)

I used to chat to her about it and have given her loads of practical advice but over time when I could see it was distressing her children and she still did nothing I have drawn back from speaking to her about it.

On one occasion her son hit his head, he was 10, she felt he should go to hospital her H said no so he didnt go.

She thinks that by telling the children to go to their rooms she is protecting them but one is turning into an unpleasant clone of his father and the other is self harming. Secondary school are aware of the self harming, will they have notified someone that these children are at risk, ideally I do not want to get involved but I have discussed it with another friend and we would hate something horrible to happen and not have done anything.

To be honest if SS step inside their house there are enough holes in walls and doors for them to draw their own conclusions (not to get into the samurai swords)

if she has had bruising on her neck, she will be considered at high risk. she may not realise that. I was shocked after talking to victim support to find out they considered me at high risk... when I thought it was not that bad really. don't rely on her version of events. she my be downplaying it/saying the childen were not around, because she sort of knows it she could "get into trouble" with the social. (even though they would be helping the children, it may not feel like that to her)