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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I'm overreacting but I can't figure out why.

6 replies

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 16/04/2013 22:20

My partner has problems holding an erection due to medical problems. A.few months ago he was offered viagra by the doctor which he refused. He told me that if he changes he's mind he will discus it with me before taking them as it effects the both of us. After a massive improvement in our sex life this weekend he admitted last night he was taking viagra.

I don't know why I feel so betrayed. I don't care if he takes the pill or not so why am I so hurt? I don't know where to go from here

OP posts:
stopthebusiwanttogetoff · 16/04/2013 22:22

My DH did the same thing, and I reacted exactly the same way as you. We are currently separated, not because of that, but it was things like that that brought out problems to the forefront. Maybe someone else can tell us why we reacted/felt as we did!

mumscuppa · 16/04/2013 22:26

I expect he is upset and embarassed by all this , have you asked him about why he did it ? I don't think you are overreacting.

CookieDoughKid · 16/04/2013 22:30

For a bloke (in my opinion) it's a huge admission to need 'assistance' for him to get a hard on. Sorry to be so frank but his ego would have been dented quite massively. I think be kind on him. It's not like he's been visiting porn sites etc. I think he just wanted to you to experience the 'real' him.

BriansBrain · 16/04/2013 22:30

I don't think you are over reacting but I so think he is ashamed he can't perform or embarrassed by it and didn't want to start the conversation again.

I can see how I would find it uncomfortable to bring it up again.

SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 16/04/2013 22:32

He gets frustrated about not being the man he used to be and wants to make love (he's words) which I understand, I've told him many a time the sex isn't important to me. If he'd told me I would have supported he's decision 100%.

Fukking up I'm sorry you went through this as well. It's so confusing isn't it?!

OP posts:
SlightlyConfusedAlwaysMad · 16/04/2013 22:37

Cookie porn wouldn't have bothered me in the least and if he hadn't told me
months ago that we'd decide as a couple I wouldn't be upset now.

Brians it's a subject that comes up on a semi regular basis at he's instigating.

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