Hello, I have namechanged for this one. My background is that 4 years ago I got out of an abusive relationship, with DS who was at that time aged 18 and in an apprenticeship.
DS was quite badly damaged psychologically by his father and I have poor boundaries and struggle with things other people wouldn't, in terms of relationships.
Nevertheless, we have thrived on our own and things are improving greatly. However, because of what DS went through I am very afraid to upset him and possibly allow him to take advantage a little.
4 years on, DS has got a good job paying around £28k. I am a single parent, have a massive mortgage and struggle to get by. There is no hope of getting finanical assistance from the Ex.
I would now like DS to contribute to the household costs, but feel guilty about it. I do his washing, all cleaning, make his bed and buy food, toiletries, pay all bills. So all his money is his own.
Also his GF stays at our house every night, although she eats at her own house most of the time. DS has an attic room at the top of the house, which is a nice big space and I have just redecorated it while he was abroad.
DS does do DIY jobs around the house and he has contacts who can get expensive work done on the house for free, so that is a huge help.
I have also got a new partner, though we do not live together. We have dated for 2.5 years and he is starting to stay overnight once or twice a week, but I am frightened of DS objecting. Ridiculous when his GF is there every night I know.
I have a younger DD as well who I also support financially.
I also want DS to start saving for his own place, so don't want to take a lot of money from him, but it would help me a little if he paid a fair amount. My partner and my friends think I should ask DS for a reasonable contribution. My parents do too but are keen for me not to upset DS.
Any comments are very welcome!