I am a regular but have nc for this, apologies that it is long.
I left STBXH in October, when his EA escalated into DV.
On the advice of Police and with the help of MN - thank you everyone -my DD and I left.
We slept on friend's floors and sofas for a few days until we found a place to rent, so far so great.
Although it hasn't always been easy DD and I have been much happier since we moved, our lives have improved immesurably but I'm going to resist the temptation to bang on about that now!
STBXH and I live in the same small town we both grew up in so all of our friends are mutual friends.
STBXH owns a small building firm here.
Sometimes STBXH casually employs people, sometimes skilled but usually labourers to help him with a job, they work for him temporarily until a job has finished.
Since leaving STBXH I haven't seen him to speak to, there have been a few exchanges of curt emails about practical matters and nothing more, so contact between us has been minimal, which is just how I like it!
Unbeknown to me at the time STBXH laid off the labourer he had working for him just before Christmas, in itself this is no business of mine.
A week or two later STBXH employed the DH (I'll call him Pete) of one of the good friends who had allowed us to sleep on their floor before we moved into our new house, they were very good to us.
To compound the situation further I live very close to these friends, our houses are diagonally back to back.
I knew Pete was working for STBXH and whilst it made me uncomfortable it meant work and an income for Pete and his wife which is important and I would only wish them the best.
Then as time has gone on STBXH has persuaded Pete and his wife that I was lying about the EA and DV (even though as my friends they both knew what was happening before we left him).
Now, on the rare occasions I see them they are frosty with me at best and sometimes they are downright unpleasant, they make snide comments about things they think I did wrong. In truth, I didn't do much wrong during my marriage because he kept such a hold over me that STBXH knew exactly where I was and what I was doing, which was usually whatever he told me to.
Fast forward to now and STBXH has ingratiated himself with them to such an extent that he is round their house all the time, they don't allow smoking in the house so he goes into the back graden for a cigarette which means he looks directly into the back of my house.
He does this a few times a week and all the while stares into my house. He doesn't say or do anything but his menacing presence is 'there'.
He feeds them information, some of which they share with other mutual friends of mine, to their credit the other friends continue to support me but this means that STBXH is often discussed, which keeps him in my thoughts and our conversations although I don't want him there at all.
Invariably, STBXH is charming and sinister (a few comments he made during our marriage made me realise that he is capable of real evil) and he is using his company to maintain his hold on my life, albeit minimally.
I've rambled enough here so over to you now, what can I do?