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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My incredible friend

13 replies

MyFriendIsAmazing · 11/04/2013 13:34

I wasn't sure where to post this, and have n-c-ed but I really wanted to say this.

My dear friend lost her husband in a terrible accident last year.
Utterly heartbreaking and heartbroken. Three wonderful children. The image of the four of them in deepest grief, the day they buried him, will be in my mind forever.

She was in turmoil for several weeks, but since then she has picked herself up and got on with life the very best she can for her and her gorgeous boys. I know she has good days and bad days, naturally, but she is an absolute inspiration. Whenever I get a bit "pissed off" with something relatively insignificant, I just think of her and what she has had to cope with and just how unbelievably brilliantly she has done that.

I opened my FB page earlier to find some photos of her and her boys, on holiday, looking fantastic and clearly having a wonderful time. I pretty much cried there and then I was so pleased to see real joy in their faces and their eyes. She didn't add any words to her post, she didn't need to. The pictures said it all.

She is doing her very best to give the boys the childhood and memories that they deserve, I don't know if I could be how she is, if I were in her position. She is so strong and clear thinking despite everything that has happened.

Her husband must be looking down, so very very proud of her and them.

OP posts:
Mumsyblouse · 11/04/2013 13:37

I hope your friend reads this- is she a mumsnet user?

MyFriendIsAmazing · 11/04/2013 13:39

Not that I know of. But she could be.

Don't worry, I'll be seeing her when she gets back and I'll be saying some of it at least to her face!!!! But I couldn't wait til then, I needed to express it now, whilst the feelings are fresh IYSWIM.

OP posts:
CheeseandPickledOnion · 11/04/2013 13:39

You should tell her that.

MyFriendIsAmazing · 11/04/2013 13:42

I will, and she already knows some of what I think, but seeing those photos today just clarified it all for me about what she is making of her and her boys' lives.

I just don't want to patronise her. "You're amazing, because your DH died" is NOT the message I want to give her!

OP posts:
NotTreadingGrapes · 11/04/2013 13:47

Smile Sounds like she could say the same about you. An incredible friend. x

MushroomSoup · 11/04/2013 13:48

She's amazing because she is able to get past her own grief in order to make sure her children have the right support and experiences. Well done your friend!

escorpion · 11/04/2013 14:37

That is so incredibly moving!! I am so glad she is getting on with her life for her boys. And I agree with NotTreadingGrapes you sound like an amazing friend!

something2say · 11/04/2013 17:51

Yes I agree with everyone. Bless her heart! X and yours, and all of us really, trying to do our best with what we've got.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 11/04/2013 17:57

That has given me goose bumps. What a lovely tribute

MyFriendIsAmazing · 11/04/2013 18:30

Thanks all. Just looked again at the pictures of her and the boys on holiday and it set me off again!! Can't wait to see her and give her a slightly extra squeezy big hug....

OP posts:
Shellywelly1973 · 11/04/2013 23:11

Friends are so important...

I met an amazing friend about 6 years ago. She has every right to cry, moan & bitch about her circumstances.

She's amazing. Strong, positive & a true inspiration.

I love her & thank her for all I've learnt from her, just by knowing her.

ladymariner · 11/04/2013 23:59

What a great, uplifting post. So pleased to hear your friend is rebuilding her life and doing so well. I think the pair of you sound wonderful, tbh.....everyone should have friends like you xx

GettingGoing · 12/04/2013 00:22

We have a neighbour who is the same - he left her and two tiny girls. She too is amazing. I know I'd be rubbish in the same circumstances.

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