well, back after a weeks holiday, ended up texting my sister 3 days after I went felt really really guilty as it was her deceased husband's 60th birthday, said that I am currently having counselling and would perhaps consider meeting her to look at a way forward. Days later and I am regretting this ! she didn't reply but that's not surprising really. Can anyone recommend a good book about this issue, the dilema I am having is is it me or her ? I am sure if her husband hadn't passed away i wouldn't really have had anxiety issues, it's just the fact that I kinda felt responsible for her and that I had to be the one to listen to all the moans, groans, netagitivty, ailments, slagging off of people for the next 20 years and that she was pushing herself onto me more than she would have done. So my question is, is it me and my thoughts that have gone haywire about not being able to cope or is it her !! Going to counsellor on Tuesday, still having obsessive thoughts, no better than they were . Thanks !