I always have a sense of being compromised and pushed around by her. I am either absolutely adored and treated like a child, along with constant judgements about my life and my capabilities or I am absolutely hated and she goes out of her way to destroy things important to me.I always feel my head is being f**ked with! This is the story;
She is much older and took care of me some of the time as a child (she tells me with great relish how my mother didn't want me and thank goodness she was there to pick up pieces). As an adult she has tried to destroy my relationship with my mother. When I was younger she took a smothering mothering role and was very kind but kept me away from other siblings and mother by making sure she did everything first herself first (mother of course is not blameless in this being narc herself!). As a young adult she continued to treat me as a child and criticised everything I did, talked down to me, enjoyed it when my life fell apart and I relied on her. In recent years I got myself together and asked her could we please have a more adult to adult relationship and that was when the hate campaign began. She belittled my career and choice of husband, she tried to ruin my wedding day and the birth of my child with her huge tantrums and atmospheres and ruined these big events not just for me but for everyone attention all went on her negativity. She plays complicated mindgames with rules about how and when we can contact eachother, she is an absolute control freak. She recently babysat for me and told me I could not call to see how my daughter was even though she had been very ill and she ignored my calls when I did ring. This has been the final straw.
I have decided to stop contact with her and only see her at important family events and try to become neutral in her company, giving her no chances to hook in to me. She made my other sisters life a living hell in the same way and once she had moved away from her she started her hate campaign on me. I have told her how I feel about how she has treated me, she says I am unstable and takes no responsibility. This weekend I have ignored her phone calls for the first time in my life and it feels so strange, risky and sort of liberating.
Thank you if you have read this far.